Chris: Change this man's screen name to 'slave tofashion.'

Yeah, but gaud they're hot to wear!

That's a good one, too.

Here's another: "Please forgive me, I was hit on the head by an office machine today." I cribbed that from the 1980s TV show "Bosum Buddies."

Problem with that line is, if you don't say it properly, people think you're serious.