There is a lack of mental health care professionals in Northcentral Florida. I have no choice than to go to a county-run mental health clinic. I did see a therapist; that was counterproductive. I have to take 1MG of Lorazepam to go to the clinic and the sessions offered no benefit.

I am aware of cognitive therapy; if I can't even find a regular therapist, how am I supposed to find one who has studied the art of cognitive therapy?

I did have a mental health problem even when I lived in Dallas; I knew how to cope and worked at a job. The job did not pay much; it had an excellent benefits package. When I moved to the sunshine state, I got worse.

Jeanette Isabelle

Do you read?

Rewire your Anxious Brain

It is a good book and based on good science.

The very good thing about all this is you are thinking about it and actively planning, working and trying to deal with the issue. With that, I'll kick in my two cents...

The whole Stress Inoculation thing I work with when I'm dealing with rookies that have no useful background and now have to deal with "incarcerated Individuals" other wise know as 'prison inmates'. Also - it's never enough. You run them through some training, spray them with OC and make them cuff a person, drag a dummy across the room, find the phone/radio on the table and call in the situation all in an effort to give them the confidence that they really can do it and survive even when hurt, scared and pepper sprayed themselves. Then we make them do it again. We are also hard about making them do it "right" as what you do in training you do when you need it. You will do what you've done.

That may not be any help but, I think you are on the right track to explore ways to mitigate the impact your anxiety will cause and trying to figure out a way to 'fight through it' when you have to.

The space program and test pilots are all famous for being calm when the wings fall off - "uh, Huston, we have a problem" and they got that way by training so hard that they could control the natural fear and anxiety that situations produced so they could work the problem and be anxious later. That will take someone special to help you with that, I'm afraid but do try to find that person / resource and work the problem. Good Luck too!

Paul -

One more thought to add. "Amateurs train until they get it right. Professionals train until they can't get it wrong." Another version of it is that "You won't rise to the occasion, you will sink to the level of your training."

I don't have time to train to the "professional" level on everything I'd like to, that's for sure. But I am trained to the "professional" level on some things, and it helps. Knowing deep in your bones that you can handle one set of adverse circumstance may be of help if you are facing something you're not as well trained for.

If you experience stressful situations, you will become better at dealing with that condition. I am sure I can be overwhelmed i the stress is great enough, my ability to function under stress has been helped considerably by extensive participation in volunteer search and rescue.

We could be called at unpredictable times, 24/7, although the probability of an operation was high on a late Sunday afternoon, especially if the weather was good. Operations varied in length from five minutes to more than two weeks. Participation was voluntary; one responded, if possible, but we all had real world commitments which sometimes interfered.

I learned a lot about effective cooperation, often, but not always, in a stressful environment, and about putting forth your best effort, often relying upon other members of the team to also do their best.

There is always a lot o discussion about what to put in a "bug out bag," and when i tune into those threads, I realize that I had been maintaining a BOB for many years. Packed with enough to keep me going unsupported for three days, with an extensive FAK and basic technical climbing gear, all adjusted for the variable seasons found in southern Arizona (One of my colleagues famously remarked that in summer our packs consisted of little more than giant water bottles). Today I have received CERT training, and a similar bag is packed and ready to go. I am older and slower now, and just a tad bit rusty, but if needed I expect the old habits to rise to the occasion.