I think people are confusing the wisdom of being 'the grey man' in some situations; with the need to be one all the time.
In my parachute regiment selection I certainly wanted to be the grey man. Come last in the runs and the sergeants will be thinking; 'weakling; we'll get rid of him'. Come in first and it'll be 'so he thinks he's fit does he? we'll break him'.

A grey man is the last thing anyone would want to be the rest of the time. Life rafts are orange for a reason.
A fire in the office and I want people to be thinking "joey's not here." at the gathering point.
qjs