sorry bountyhunter, there IS a santa but theres some bad news...
a special hand picked taskforce has sent the military to the north pole to deal with this "saint nick".

govt. intelligence reports indicate he is a leader of a fanatical militia, possibly religious cult (saints of what hmm?) comprised mostly of..."little people".

satilite photos have uncovered several "toy making shops" which they claim make actual toys.
but it also detected a large large amount of electronic equipment running through a deep underground area.

the president has branded him an enemy of the state for his attempted bribery of american children with toys.

artic troops are moving in but having great difficulty breaking the compounds defenses, the area is littered with polar bears and peppermint pit traps.

lol yes this was a joke if anyone took offence.
its also 4am and i still cant sleep...insomnia drives you nuts.