Due to drop in sales by 90% Swiss Army will stop making knives and watches and close their doors down said company spokesman today on April 1.

Matt

I think it should be due to the high demand on Swiss Navy products rather than theirs.

Burak

Yeah, I just bought one of the Swiss Navy knives yesterday at Smoky Mountain Knifeworks, a real bargain.
Special buy one, get one free deal, also!

Well Matt, being April Fool's Day, could you be pulling our, uh, leg a bit?

I really feel insulted that anyone would think that at my advanced age of 27 going on 59, <img src="images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> someone would expect me to believe a cocking bull story about Swiss Army products going out of business.

Just because the tooth I put under my pillow 25 years ago is still there doesn't mean the tooth fairy doesn't exist, rather it is all those satelites screwing up her navigation equipment, and don't you dare try to get me to believe there is no Santa Claus! <img src="images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" />

<img src="images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />Bountyhunter <img src="images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> <img src="images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Undercover arms inspectors reported to President Bush Switzerland was stockpiling huge quantities of SAKS, Mountain bicycles and chocolate inside the Matterhorn. It seems growing concern over melting snowpacks from global warming has stirred anti american sentiments to levels approaching yodelling levels. Following unprecedented successes in Iraq, Haiti and JEB Bush's public support for Venezuelan opposition to President Chavez, it was inevitable our attention would focus on this growing menace. An article in THE NATION on Nestle and Hershey's frustrating attempts to outsource american confectioner jobs to that nation went largely ignored. Swiss radio has been playing what Rush Limbaugh reports as RAP-anti US martial music non stop. P.Diddley has stated on ENTERTAINMENT TONIGHT that THE WILLIAM TELL OVERTURE contains copyright infringing portions of his unreleased " I 'm gonna pop you dead, it will be applesauce or the head." Meanwhile The Department ofHome Security denies charges of swiss Racial profiling, stating "people who speak french,german or italian wearing lederhosen will not be singled out or interned without due process."

<img src="images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> Are we having fun, yet, guys? <img src="images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

Tahirih

sorry bountyhunter, there IS a santa but theres some bad news...
a special hand picked taskforce has sent the military to the north pole to deal with this "saint nick".

govt. intelligence reports indicate he is a leader of a fanatical militia, possibly religious cult (saints of what hmm?) comprised mostly of..."little people".

satilite photos have uncovered several "toy making shops" which they claim make actual toys.
but it also detected a large large amount of electronic equipment running through a deep underground area.

the president has branded him an enemy of the state for his attempted bribery of american children with toys.

artic troops are moving in but having great difficulty breaking the compounds defenses, the area is littered with polar bears and peppermint pit traps.

lol yes this was a joke if anyone took offence.
its also 4am and i still cant sleep...insomnia drives you nuts.