Undercover arms inspectors reported to President Bush Switzerland was stockpiling huge quantities of SAKS, Mountain bicycles and chocolate inside the Matterhorn. It seems growing concern over melting snowpacks from global warming has stirred anti american sentiments to levels approaching yodelling levels. Following unprecedented successes in Iraq, Haiti and JEB Bush's public support for Venezuelan opposition to President Chavez, it was inevitable our attention would focus on this growing menace. An article in THE NATION on Nestle and Hershey's frustrating attempts to outsource american confectioner jobs to that nation went largely ignored. Swiss radio has been playing what Rush Limbaugh reports as RAP-anti US martial music non stop. P.Diddley has stated on ENTERTAINMENT TONIGHT that THE WILLIAM TELL OVERTURE contains copyright infringing portions of his unreleased " I 'm gonna pop you dead, it will be applesauce or the head." Meanwhile The Department ofHome Security denies charges of swiss Racial profiling, stating "people who speak french,german or italian wearing lederhosen will not be singled out or interned without due process."