OK, just found out I am going to be a Dad and I have never been so excited in my life, but I dont have a clue where to begin. Do any of you current fathers have any advice for a newbie? Where can I go on the web for info? What books should I read? And of course, what cool gear do I need?

Thanks for anyone's help,

Garrett

<img src="images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
First off Congratulations. Hope future mum is doing well.

I suppose it's too early to know whether it's a boy or a girl, could affect you choice of kit.

Enjoy the moment I remember when my wife told me she was expecting, I couldn't keep the grin off my face for days.

Congratulations!

Garrett--

Congratulations to you both! I hope you both experience a trouble-free, happy, healthy pregnancy, and end up with just what you wanted--a normal, healthy baby!

There's much you'll need, and much you'll learn, but I'll only offer 2 bits of advice for now.

First, if at all possible, go to the doctor's appointments with her, including the ultrasounds. Chances are, she'll greatly appreciate your being there. Plus, there's nothing like hearing your baby's heartbeat for the first time, or seeing him or her on the ultrasound.

Second, when you go to the hospital, be sure to bring a normal kit, including multi-tool. When my son was born, I had to use my Leatherman to fix the faucet of the sink in our hospital room. While I don't remember exactly what was wrong, I do know that we'd asked repeatedly that it be fixed, pronto. Hospital maintenance was less than responsive, so, being the self-reliant individual my wife married, I fixed it with the tools from my bag. I threatened to send the hospital a bill for my services... <img src="images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Oh, yeah, one other thing: Take some food (for you especially) with you. Though our hospital had meal boxes made up daily just for the fathers, no one thought to tell me about it until about 1:30AM.

We'd started labor the previous AM about 7:30. The Dr. finally decided on a C-section about 7:00PM, & we finally settled down with my son around 1:00 or 1:30AM that night/next morning. One of the night nurses thought to ask if I'd eaten, & pointed me to the refrigerator where the box lunches were kept. I was quite glad to see that ham sandwich!

Good luck, & congratulations again!

David

Congratulations, Garrett! There was a thread a while ago that might be useful, although it was geared less toward dealing with newborns and more toward traveling with toddlers ... see DSK (Daddy Survival Kit).

And don't forget to get a bag packed for mommy for the hospital, so you can grab it when she goes into labor -- non-maternity clothing for after the baby's born, toiletries, pads for the bra to absorb milk leakage, Lansinoh, Preparation H, favorite snacks for her & you (especially chocolate if she's been avoiding it during pregnancy), earplugs & eyeshades if you won't have a private room, and books or other things to alleviate hospital-bed boredom.

Congratulations!
As has been well-covered on this site, the most important stuff is not gear, but mindset. A new baby's a joy, but also an incredible stresser. Expect you'll be getting a lot less sleep for several months, until your baby gets into a good sleeping rhythm. Expect not to understand why your baby's crying sometimes - you can exhaust all likely options and still not come up with a "fix." I found this very frustrating at times - I felt like I was addressing all possible concerns (hungry, wet, too hot, too cold need to be held) and doing everything I could to comfort the baby, so therefore the baby should be comforted and stop crying. Doesn't always work that way.
Also, expect a general increase in tensions between you and your wife that will last a while - people's tempers get short when they're tired for a long time, and it's very easy to unintentionally annoy each other. Plan on the need to expand your patience, don't rise to a fight neither of you really wants, and try to keep your sense of humor.
Use teamwork - if you're taking turns with the baby, you'll inevitably hit a wall where you just don't think you can stand it(the crying, being so tired, whatever) any more - time to tag your teammate and take a break - and be ready to take your next shift when called.
And finally, accept the help people offer. If you've got friends or family who offer to watch the baby for an hour while you catch a nap, take them up on it! Accept offers of food, offers of picking up groceries for you, whatever. All these things can help - just be sure to pass it along when other need it.
As far as stuff to be equipped with, I'd recommend a tour through one of the huge mega-baby stores (a flagship Babies R Us will work nicely). Go in, with your wife, with the understanding that on this trip you will buy NOTHING, and you are merely educating yourselves. When my wife and I did this, it was overwhelming, and we had this panicky feeling that there's no way we could cope with a baby unless we bought every contraption they offer, including (I'm not making this up) baby wipe warmers.
So, use this trip as a chance to see what's there, get a bit overwhelmed, then calmly try to figure out what you'll actually need.

First, I'd recommend you accept as much stuff as friends and family want to lend/give you used. Most stuff for babies/children's first years are going to far outlast the use by a single child. In the first year or so, your child will outgrow all their clothes long before they wear them out. Things like "baby saucers," gyminis, toys, etc., will generally far outlast the child's attention or their necessity. We found friends and family practically begging us to take stuff off their hands and clear out their storage spaces - and we were glad to do it. We've rotated several items from friends to us to other friends and now back to us with our second baby. That said, there's some stuff you'll probably want for yourselves.
--A squeeze bulb with a door in the base. If/when your infant gets a lot of mucus, this is really the only direct way to deal with it. The trap door lets you empty the bulb, while sealed bulbs will keep whatever you suck in and are basically impossible to clean.
--Emery boards/nail files. Newborns very soon have very sharp, razor-thin nails. I used tiny clippers on my son's fingers with good success, but the first time I tried it on my daughter, as careful as I was, I cut a bit of the pad of her finger. Save the clippers for when they're older.
--Of course, a good safety rated car seat. Advice I've seen is that this is NOT a good item to inherit as a hand-me-down. We got one that was a bundled car seat/baby carrier/stroller package. A base is strapped into the backseat and stays there, and the carrier snaps into the base, can be released when you get to your destination to carry the baby, and snaps securely into the stroller if you're going on a longer walk. Also worked very well for us with our first child - for a long time, we had trouble getting him to fall asleep for a nap lying down, but he would doze happily in the carrier seat, and we could put him into/take him out of the car and stroller without disturbing or waking him. Very handy. However, car seats are weight specific - as your child grows, you'll need larger seats. I consider this to be perhaps the No. 1 safety item for my kids.
--Carrying device. We've been very happy with the "Baby Bjorn" device. Some of the sling devices look nice, but I've found them to be uncomfortable - dig all the weight into one shoulder.
--In the early days (first several months), a "Moses basket" is a nice item - basically a padded basket for the baby to lie in, with handles to carry it by. Makes it easy to move from room to room with a sleeping baby without waking them - but not useful once the baby gets mobile.
--Mylicon. This is a brand name of an anti-gas formula that comes in a dropper bottle. Some persistent crying is due to gas. You should of course check with your pediatrician, and it's not appropriate at all ages, but we found it to be very helpful once we recognized the signs in our son. Good to have on hand before you need it.
--Pedialyte. Electrolyte replacement. We just dealt with a stomach virus, and my son was getting very dehydrated. While this wasn't the answer to the problem itself, it helped a bit - again, good to have on hand long before you need it.
--Activated charcoal. Neutralizes a lot of nasty stuff kids swallow
--Baby safety stuff - electric outlet blockers, doorknob baffles, toilet bowl locks, etc. Babyproofing is like dealing with a slow, yearlong flood. Dainty/breakable items slowly get moved higher and higher as the child becomes more mobile, taller, and more able to climb.
Anyway, that's my suggestion. Cribs, changing tables, etc. - there's time for all of that. Don't go out and buy a baby suite right off the bat - see what folks can help you out with. And a lot of the gear - outlet plugs, etc - you'll have some time before you have to have it.
Enjoy your baby -- most of the cliches about parenting and babies are true -- they change quicker than you can believe, etc., etc.
Take care

Dave

I had to change the time on the clock but it was bolted to the wall - Yup I broke out the LM wave and took it off the wall and changed the time.

Funny I forgot about doing that until you mentioned the sink.

Congrats Devil Dog. Believe it or not, your Marine training will pay off once the baby arrives. You will definitely use your "improvise, adapt and overcome" skills. I took my first-born son to a movie in Jacksonville, NC while I was stationed there and didn't take the required "support gear". Long story short, his diaper was full as soon as we got to the theatre. Luckily I had some clean water and some grease rags (clean) in my Jeep to do the job. His improvised grease rag diaper made it to the end of the show and his mom got a kick out of it when we got home.

I'm not sure how I pulled it off, but I was able to see the births of all 3 of my kids... not too easy as a Marine. They were all born in military hospitals and the care was first-rate. They were born in San Diego (Balboa), Camp Lejeune, and Camp Pendleton and each time brought tears to my eyes. Even D.I.'s shed a tear when their kids are born.

Good luck and enjoy fatherhood. You've been training your whole life for this!

Semper Fi,
George, CWO3, USMC (Ret.)

In addition to what has been mentioned don't forgot about the following:

Hospital - take a tour if available. Know the entrances and exits, where do you park and all that stuff. It will be up to you to take care of these things. You need to know where to go when you get to the hospital what floor etc.

Gear – don’t be afraid to bring the usually urban carry stuff it may be handy. Just have a good method to carry it all. I used a medium sized backpack and my wife packed her stuff in a wheeled suitcase. Make it as portable as possible, we moved around a couple times while in the hospital, you want to be able to grab and go. Don't take everything in at once. Breakdown what you need for labor and what you need for post-partum. You can all ways go out and get that huge suitcase after everything has settled down.

Child Birthing Classes – Get informed take a class, Bradley is in my opinion is the best class, do it soon, my Bradley class ran for I think 8 weeks. It is a real help to know what is going on and what you can do to help with the birth. The class will also cover what to bring to the hospital.

Small notepad – (should be in the urban carry stuff) It was very helpful in the hospital to write down the times of when labor started and other milestones. It’s convenient for writing down med’s, don’t depend on the nurses to bring you pain medication exactly on time. Call ahead so they are ready to bring it.

Camera/Cam-Corder – It’s a once in a lifetime event.

Congrats !! My wife has found a huge amount of very nice, namebrand baby clothing when she tags along with me to the local thrift shops. Found many new items with the original price tag still on them. Take advantage of whatever classes and tours the hospital gives. It's a good idea to visit the L&D floor ahead of time. You both should decide about who you want in the room during delivery. I know it sounds odd, but many people may want to be there.

Congratulations! Okay, get a copy of "What to expect while you are expecting", great book. I second going to all the doctor visits you can, really a cool thing. Don't count on using a camcorder during the delivery, most hospitals do not allow this for liability reasons. Once the baby arrives, tell your wife to sleep whenever the baby sleeps, trust us on this one.
Most importantly, enjoy that kid, they grow up way too quickly.