It is perception vs reality. The reality is that on 9/11 attackers used box cutters and took advantage of the then in place rules that flight crews must always obey hijackers. The response to that threat should have been hardened cockpit doors, armed flight crews, and rescinding the rule that flight crews obey hijackers and these steps were in fact taken. That's it, end of story, you fixed the problem with just those three changes.

But in addition to those rational changes in security, the government imposed an enormous bureaucratic system of security focused on passengers and did nothing about cargo, mail, and only cursory security changes to passengers' baggage procedures. Banning lighters means nothing if there are 2 tons of unsearched, unsniffed priority mail boxes in the baggage compartment.

Thus the perception vs. reality. The perception is that the government is doing something and you're safer. The reality is that it's all for show. While you wait in line and have your pockets and shoes searched for too much shampoo, thousands of pounds of mail and cargo are being loaded onto your plane with hardly a second look.

Specifically addressing your lighter issue... Using a lighter on a plane nowadays would elicit an immediate response from every able bodied male on that plane and the flight crew would not obey your commands. This makes a bic lighter all but useless to an attacker, much like knives or shampoo bottles or shoes or all the other unreasonable prohibitions placed on passengers.