Has anyone here lived in small town ?

I find cost of city life too expensive and it is too crowded. I saw many attractive homes in small town near Toronto,Canada but I am concerned about commuting cost.

How do you guys manage to live in small town?

One of the trade-offs in Toronto is the potential commute. Depending on your job, you might need a travel to get to work. That can be a killer the closer you get to the city, at least in the GTA. A good chunk of Toronto's (a.k.a. the 416/416ers) traffic is comprised of people travelling from the burbs (a.k.a the 905/905ers).

I once lived and had a job in Toronto, but at opposite ends of the city. I could spend 2 hours commuting one way when I relied on public transit and didn't save much time by driving.

I'm happy to have a much shorter, almost rural commute since we changed jobs and moved out of the big city.

I grew up in a small, small town on Long Island, New York. Dad drove to work 1+ hour a day each way. It was nice growing up, very much in the country, but later when I became an adult, and ended up doing a commute of about the same length, I realized that, IMO, the cost is too high. Life is too short to spend 3 hours a day going to and from work. Time with the family is more valuable.

Better to live near where you work. I realize this is not always, or even frequently possible.

Besides work and commuting issues, there are also important social differences. Cities tend to be more anonymous and tolerant. If you're used to that, small town life can seem like living in a fish bowl with everyone knowing everyone's business. And many times, attitudes are a lot more narrow and rigid. Fine, if you happen to share the same values, but can be miserable if you're on the outside.

I grew up in a town of 800, including pets. I loathed it! But I guess I grew up into a reasonably well adjusted adult, so whatever.

It sounds like Picard is proposing to live in a small town near the big city where he will work. If that's the case, I suspect he will be commuting a lot, and he will only have the partial small town experience. He can get much of the benefit of the big city -- shopping, the arts, medical care, etc. -- if he just stays a bit after work or rearranges his work schedule, if that's possible.

I don't know about you, but after working hard the whole week, I tend to want to take the weekend easy. So a small town would do.

For me, personally, I am not a fan of small town life. I'd like to move back to a big city.

Izzy... if you tell them they will come...don't tell them about the beaches, fishing, boating, warm weather...they will clog our highways, and bring money to take advantage of us slow witted Southerners... wait a minute, I'm a state retiree... come on down you all...

Not that my town is that small (21,000, and actually they just voted to make it a city) but as far as how I manage, my job happens to be in this town so my commute is a 10-minute walk! Living in a smaller town and commuting to the city would be harder; I'm with those who say life is too short to waste two or three hours a day driving to and from work. On the other hand, city life certainly has its issues and isn't for everyone (including me). If you can live in a smaller town and work there too, that's probably ideal. Or if you have to work in the city, living just far enough outside to be less crowded etc. but still not more than a half hour commute.

I wouldn't mind living in the small villages outside of the main city of Dundee such as Glamis in Angus, which is about a 25 minute drive.

The Megacity is my vision of hell on earth.

nearest town of any kind, with 200 people, is an hour's drive away.

nearest "city" of 2000 folks is 2 hours away in summer, but much longer in winter.

even nearest neighbor is a few miles away.

wanting incomes meant reinventing ourselves, finding new professions we could do in the wilderness.

having grown up in manhattan, after 25+ years up here in the woods, i can't ever imagine going back...

Given my profession (network engineer) I need to live in or near a large city. At an hour away it can be a bit tough to get to work, but I don't worry about my wife or my kids while I'm away, and we still have good schools, hospitals, and emergency services.

Accept the following things-

- You will drive an hour to work each way. Or more. Or accept that you don't have a good job
- You will have to plan on sleeping at work, at a friend's, or two hours of driving for any real storm which will be after you've shoveled your driveway.
- You will have nothing like pizza/chinese/deli delivery, and UPS/FedEx will never find you, so they have to hold any package at their office and you have to find time to go to them.
- You will be waiting on police/fire/EMS if you need them.
- When power gets lost, guess what, town folk get priority before you. Of course they'll strip the crews for getting a small town off their work site so that city folk get power. So you're in the dark for a week or three every year.
- High speed internet? HAHAHAHAHA!!
- You are on a well and a septic tank.

There was more to this, but it was basically just a rant about how cityborn have ruined small towns, to the point where those people who don't leave just to get a job they can survive on now sleep behind double locked doors and with a loaded shotgun by the bed in a town where people didn't lock their cars or their front doors 30 years ago.

I live in a town of around 20,000.

After retiring from the Navy, my wife and I move here with three small children. Packed up and left Norfolk behind.

Best thing we ever did.

I also like being about 45 minutes from great hunting, fishing and hiking.

Bend (the near big town of 80,000) is were all the fine city folk come to visit. Nice folk but I am glad they go to Bend.

Blake

www.outdoorquest.blogspot.com

www.outdoorquest.biz

I loved lots of things about living in small town Minnesota but hadn't realized what I missed about coastal city life until we moved back to Providence. Being closer to friends, the arts and culture, beaches, great food, etc. Easy access to a faster pace of life when we want it and a slow day fishing for blue crabs when we need it. We "managed" living in a small town OK but living in this city has probably rejuvenated our marriage.

Of course, I don't know what Toronto is like. There are cities where I'd never want to live and would choose small town in a second (NYC comes to mind). But you really got to break down your day, the things you like to do, and other commitments to see if a lengthy commute everyday is worthwhile.

Working For The Weekend ... Sorry, Christina's post just pulled this thought from the back of my mind.

Living in a small town is nice. However, commuting more than an hour each way can really grind a person down. IMO, it is intrinsically beneficial to live and work as close together as possible. Time spent commuting is, for the most part, wasted time. Sure you can fill it with this and that, but given a choice, I would prefer have the time back to spend as I would choose.

I believe that many convince themselves that their commute is 'me' time where they can catch up on reading, etc. But given a choice, I bet all would rather be somewhere else.

Commuting is expense from more than a monetary point of view.

There are many areas that a good living can be made and still have privacy, acreage, short commute (or none), and all the important stuff that families can enjoy. My wife works on a branch campus of a large university, the back of their property nearly abuts ours. We are 10-15 minutes from our childrens grade schools/daycare. We have a county seat city and courthouse of 15,000 within site of our highest hilltop. Lots of cool topography, forests, fields, nice mix stable (not boomtown)suburban/rural mix. We enjoy an hour drive to the Pittsburgh region to do zoo/museums/etc..... I serve on a non-profit board there. While a "remote" backwoods local has some advantages, I enjoy being on the fringe. We still have well/septic, I have access to both, but opt out due to the distance to road (3/4 mile)so we have I ran 1000' waterline when I ran natural gas line to our house. I LOVE heating with NG, if our well ever goes bad I can just tap into the public water. You can just hear the cars below our 20 acres on the road. I can WIZZ in the front yard, hunt on our land, log, etc.... We are "hidden" and many people (even public service providers) dont even know we are back here. We still need to be prepared for plowing snow (fire/EMS protection)road maintance....etc... There ARE gems out there, convienence, privacy, good schools/parenting networks.... you just need to look.


Ironwood

Yes, that is a pain in the derriere. Better than driving, but still not that great. I commuted from one city to another by train for grad school (liked where I was living, rent was much more reasonable than in Boston where the school was, so didn't want to move)...it was over an hour train ride. It was doable, because I used the train ride to read/study, but I don't miss that commute at all!!

OK. Here is a guy who did just the opposite

I work in a medium size town . Used to live there too but moved to a LARGER town about 25 minutes away.

Logic was that in the larger town was more people friendly and we were closer to things we liked. Smaller twon was almost limited to work and business. Was almost owned by companies and establishments. So, instead of worrying about work-related commute we were fed up with how many times we had to drive when we wanted to go shopping, visting friends, or other activities.

Now, we are closer to what we want and can tolerate the distance to work. I really don't miss living in that town. The daily commute is offset by weekend driving which is now shorter and more pleasant

Re: Train commutes - One summer years ago I commuted to Boston from PVD on the rail. I was working three jobs at the time and would fall asleep during that hour-long ride every day. It was terrible and provided no rest, but I couldn't help myself. Still hoping the drool I'd find on my face when I'd wake up was my own...

I guess it also depends on YOUR type of character too.

For example, I am a not-so-social type of guy. I like to spend more time alone ( which is not possible most of the time). In a large sity, most people will leave you alone and mind their own business. This is BIG for me. My brother, on the other hand, is a "people" type of guy. He feels more comfy around people chatting about everything under the sun, from latest smart phone to last trip to wherever. I am the exact opposite. When I buy a car or cell phone I hate to see someone (even my own brother) going through the car and discussing what features it has and what it doesn't have. He can buy a car with all the gizmos he likes but he should not ask me why I buy the simplest model. It is my own business.

So, this is why my brother stays in home town while I moved to larger town where even relatives do not see each other that much.

I like living in small town because I love the outdoors. I need space to roam around the woods.

You're lucky. My small down was smack in the middle of a zillion square miles of prairie. Nothing but hundreds of thousands of acres of wheat and weeds as far as the eye could see.

Grew up in a small town along the Ohio River Valley. 5,000 people in its heyday of the late 1970s. Coal and Steel were the industries. Steel is gone, a couple of the mines are coming back a bit and fracking for gas (no jokes here please) is going strong in the area

Today it maybe has 2,500 residents.

I left to go to college and earn a living as did may from my generation. I still go back several times a year (parents still in the house they bought in 1949). I now live in the Columbus metro area in a suburb that at least provides a few of the same benefits of my small town and I liked NightHiker's observations. I'm surprised that a surprisingly large number of the people that attend my place of worship are also from "The Valley"

We have a whole town reunion every year. HS football team went undefeated this year. It the kind of community with a lot of pride (but not the arrogang kind).... more of a humble gratitude for shared accomplishment and a work ethich I seldom see anymore. If things ever get "bad" here, my family and I are prepared to return there. I'm fortunate that my small town is the kind of place where 99% of the people will stand up and support each other and everyone know who the other 1% are to be avoided. Keeping in touch gives me that confidence.

The one thing about small towns is that a significant percentage of the population ends up being related either by blood or marriage (please no "inbred" jokes here) and that builds strong bonds.

I think the John "Cougar" Mellencamp song says it pretty well for me.



buckeye

Phaedrus,

Reminds me of that Garth Brooks song, something about working for a young widow one summer in the middle of a thousand miles of wheat fields.

Ironwood

If you are a little different from the average folks in the small town you want to move to, you may find it harder to become a part of any group. No, I am not necessarily saying small towns are "close minded" regarding the usual hot button cultural issues. There are also social groups in place, and they include the membership they include for a reason -- some possibilities may include petty personal disagreements to big political commitments. You will have to be able to fit in, and the wiggle room may be narrower.

Big cities have more groups, and the groups often have to be more tolerant because people regularly come into contact with people who are not like them. The chances are better that you'll eventually find your niche.

I personally recommend against groups. They drive me nuts. There is always someone you can't stand. Instead, I just have friends, and we have a good time.

I find the "groups" thing can be overcome and "shown by your actions", these include (for my wife and I anyhow) direct involvement in community minded activities, non-profits, fire/EMS, Parent Teacher Association/PTA, Scouting, church groups, AND helping others in their time of need. Granted I have been in my "new" location for 15 years, but I m very well networked and ingrained in our new community now. We are hard working, humble, active and "solid folks" and at least in this part of the country that is uniformly accepted/respected as the norm.

Buckeye, I too am from a former Steel Valley in Ohio (not yours) but it very well rings true for me as well. That is nice

Ironwood

In any social interaction, one bears only a part, but definitely a part, of the burden, and so do the others. The onus shouldn't be all on "the new guy." The "group" bears a part of the burden, too. There has to be a fit. For example, take the CERT people I trained with (and whom I continue to meet with regularly) as a group. During training, one well-intentioned instructor said something to the effect of, "there are some foreigners in our town, so terrorism could happen here." She was aware that most foreigners are not terrorists, and of course she was aware that CERT doesn't deal with terrorism. This is the sort of thinking of someone who's been kind of isolated from the larger world: outsiders = danger. Sure, there are nutty, paranoid big city folks who think foreigners are terrorists, but I'd think most people realize that there are so many foreigners living amidst us, that citizenship is a really poor, really impractical litmus test for catching a terrorist. I don't know about the foreign folks in the town, but I wouldn't want to befriend that particular CERT person. I put up enough nonsense at work already. I don't need to get it from my friends.

As for hard-working and humble, there are some people like that in small towns. But objectively, small-town people just don't have the economic opportunities to work as hard as some big city folks. Some friends of mine (employed by NYC firms) went to work at 7 AM, and came home at 12 AM. Yes, you read the times right. Sure, the company took them to and back from work in limousines, but many of them developed health problems. As for humility, this is something that needs to be tested for it to be real. Not saying it can't happen in a small town, but certainly other places offer more opportunities for trials of life. But all of this is just statistics and probabilities. Character always comes down to the individual, and true character is as hard to find in a big city as in a small town.