I had a brush with my own old age that made me laugh. I was recently arranging a SCUBA dive while on a trip in the Caribbean.

I realized that I had left my PADI certification card at home on accident. The dive master said, no problem, I will just look it up on the Internet. I gave him my name, DOB, and to my surprise, no record showed up.

Being a little concerned, I called PADI directly and asked them why my records weren't on-line. After a few minutes on the phone with the PADI rep trying different variations of my last name to no avail, she asked what year I had gotten certified. I told her 1981.

She said "Oh my. I have to go back to the microfilm records to find a certification that old. I will have to call you back."

About an hour later we got the call verifying my status.

Well youngster, I did my PADI cert in 1978, if my foggy memory serves me right. Nice to know where to look if I ever have to dredge it up....

Oh my, a record that old is probably chiseled into one of the stone tablets that they have piled up somewhere around their back office.

FYI Send them a photo copy of your card and they will update the Internet database for free.

What's a "photo copy"? Is that like a mimeograph?

That is wild exaggeration. I am positive they had just upgraded to baked clay tablets.

I think he means take a picture of the card with your smartphone then convert it to pfd with an app and e-mail it to them, isn't that what a photocopy is?

My PADI card would be dated 1978 as well. But it was left as a good-faith deposit for a diving trip in St. Croix but my ship left unexpectedly early and I completely forgot about the card for 20 years.

But on general cautionary principle I wouldn't go diving without serious refresher training. I hear one has to use their iPhone to keep track of air remaining .... or something like that.

I agree completely. I am definitely an ex-diver, due to inelastic alveoli in the lungs - doctor's orders. I have seen many diving accidents involving somewhat elderly (over 45) divers getting back into the water.

Not old enough to have a stone tab record yet, but I can definitely feel my body getting old. Brain's been writing cheques my body couldn't cash. Had a few bad crashes on my skis this winter because I thought my legs would be in position but they weren't.

Gag! I must be The Crypt Keeper then.