French philosopher Rene DesCartes is sitting at a sidewalk cafe. The waiter asks him if he would like a cup of coffee. DesCartes answered "I think not" - POOF!!! He disappeared.

I love this!

Here's a joke about metaphysics. What is matter? Never mind. What is mind? No matter.

OK, I see where this is going.

Take this:

Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were getting cold so they decided to light a fire in their boat. It promptly sank, proving once again that you can’t have your kayak and heat it too

An italian, an irishman, a greek and a german go into a bar.
The german pays

qjs

a man walks into a bar.

why he never saw it coming, i don't know.

"To do is to be." - Jean Paul Sartre

"To be is to do." - Bertrand Russell

"Do be do be do." - Frank Sinatra

One bullet jokes.
Now the question is:
Do I shoot you for telling it?
Or do I shoot myself for listening to it?

Two guys, Moe and Joe, are spending the day down on the farm. Moe walks out back and sees Joe throw his wallet and watch down the outhouse hole.

Moe: "Why did you throw your wallet and watch down the outhouse hole?"

Joe: "Well, when I pulled my pants up, a quarter flipped out of my pocket and went down into the hole"

Moe: "But your watch and wallet?"

Joe: "No way am I going down in there for just two bits"

Ok,

I'll play....

A vulture boars an airplane carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess says "I'm sorry sir but only one carrion allowed."


LW (Ducking as he hits submit)

A guy's wife calls his doctor "Doctor, I'm worried about Jack, he he goes around singing "She's a Lady" all day long - never stops." The doctor says "Sounds like he has Tom Jones syndrome" The wife asks "Is that common?" Doctor says "It's not unusual."