I have about 5-6 of those Datrex bars that sit unused in my food inventory. When I bought them I opened one and gnawed on the lemony concoction, and realized that while palatable it wasn't a viable TEOTWAWKI food source, feeding my family Datrex would actually signal the time to give us all the Black Capsule. So I keep them as a virtual barometer for when our end is near - when I'm hungry enough for Datrex, its time to go.

More seriously, fire extinguishers - I have 2 expired this year, and my brother who is hosting a family thanksgiving this year has 3, so in honor of national flaming turkey fryer day*, we're going to hold a fire extinguisher clinic for 40+ extended family gathering for the feast: those who have never held a fire extinguisher or put out a fire safely (PASS method) will be able to do so. Especially the kids in the family, it may make up for them having to sit at the little card table. My brother has a large side yard a safe distance from houses, overhangs, trees etc that will make a perfect place for controlled burns. So light a small tub of gasoline, have a 9 year old put it out, repeat until you run out of extinguishers, then go in and eat an enormous amount of food. A new American tradition.

* Last year I responded to no fewer than 3 house fires started by turkey fryers set up and run amok too close to the house, igniting the eaves and spoiling people's national holiday. I'm on call again this year for Red Cross, but someone else gets the fun of the prime turkey fryer hours in the AM, I take over at 5pm. Gobble gobble!