When I was a kid living in the sticks of Iowa, we always thought that if we had only good and pure thoughts, went to church 3 times a week, prayed 5 times a day, gave 10% of whatever we had to the Lord, and became Born Again Christians, when we died we'd go to Pasadena. On New Years Day, in the middle of a blizzard in below zero temperatures and howling winds, the Rose Bowl Parade sure looked like Heaven to us.

Somehow, without actually dying, I managed to get somewhat near Pasadena almost 25 years ago now, and my pain threshold thankfully still seems at it's former Iowa level. However, if I found out I had to return to Iowa, for sure I would think that I had well and truly expired, and also failed miserably in my attempts at piety.