A decent beefburger or hamburger is basically down to the quality of the ingredients and is easy to prepare and cook at home. They taste even better over a smoky beech wood fire out in the wilds. The source for the beef is traceable back to the farm from local independent butchers (although there are only about 10 of so left in my City) to ensure the best quality. The result is completely distinguishable from the McDs and BKs so why are these industrial global megacorp restaurants so popular? I've been in a McD's twice now, both times were a complete let down even compared to a deep fried battered Haggis from the local chip shop.

Haggis! Now we're talking! I've only had haggis once (in Contin, as I remember, but it was delicious....

I must whistle the play dead and show a penalty card: the words haggis and delicious must never appear in the same sentence.

I say this as one privileged to help prepare the wily haggis for a few Burns dinners as an assistant to a well-regarded player of the pipes and master of the haggiss trade. His secret to a decent haggis? Secret nontraditional ingredients, including spices, and strict instructions to only eat the haggis "piping" hot.

Nice taxonomy but it leaves out a true classic. To do it justice I'll need to provide a quote.

" Cheeseburger in paradise (paradise)
Medium rare with mustard 'be nice (paradise)
Heaven on earth with an onion slice (paradise)
I'm just a cheeseburger in paradise

I like mine with lettuce and tomato
Heinz 57 and french fried potatoes
Big kosher pickle and a cold draft beer
Well good god almighty which way do I steer for my

Cheeseburger in paradise!"

Please note that Margaritas are acceptable substitutes for the cold draft Beer.

- Eric

Related but unrelated:

http://scienceblogs.com/bioephemera/2011/05/starry_night_-_in_bacon.php

Is there nothing that bacon can't do?