I think that is how I would approach it. It's very similar to the list I had looking for a house in 2004, though in the desert SW. Unfortunately price point put us in a great house but as suburban as it gets.

I've had time to think about how I would do it differently, how some friends have done what you're thinking about and maybe I can give you some of that as a way to approach this.

Property. It is generally not hard to find 3-5 acres of rural land like you're thinking except the concession is you'll most likely see your neighbors to some extent. And really thats not a bad thing. In fact with some tree planting in a few years that would be moot. Friends in the PNW have set up lines of blackberry bushes that grow to shield the view of neighbors and offer some protection thank to the thorns. Plus great summer treat.

Well water. I would go well if I could. I believe you can get water table info and history pretty easily as part of your preliminary searches to narrow down the areas you'll look in. Then upgrade the pump to include solar.

ManCave. If a room, garage or building on the property you're looking at can't be converted, then get enough property to build one. Building would be best as you can build the man cave downstairs, say 1000-1500 sq feet with a guest room on the 2nd floor. It is really not a lot of money to do since plumbing and power are above ground. It's is a nice retreat for the kids or kids sleepover, company and DH can has a bathroom to wash up, not track in stuff. Going with a just a basic metal frame structure is even cheaper.

Gardening, composting, burn/rain barrels. This can be done, very well, with even just 1.5 acres. In fact I'd expect a decent fire pit area to mature with seating and a fortified fire pit.

A recommendation for today. Pick up a copy of Encyclopedia of Country Living by Carla Emory that goes through in great detail finding a suitable place like your looking at.

I gave a dog earred copy to some friends relocating to Idaho with your thinking and they have really taken it to heart.