The holiday party at my new company is going to be a classy affair. I'm not used to that. The men will be wearing suits and ties. The women, real dresses. No jeans, no casual trousers.

That means I have to dust off the old funeral suit. If anyone has suggestions on how I can be equipped without looking equipped, I'd love to hear them.

I can't have anything hanging from my belt, either, except the usual accepted cellphone. My SureFire is out, as is my Leatherman. My wife bought a very nice new dress for the party, and she has told me how she wants me to look (yikes), which rules out most beltwear and most of my gear.

I get hives whenever I'm too far away from my stuff, so I'm practicing by leaving my SureFire in my coat pocket. There's no place for the Leatherman.

Is anyone else childishly annoyed by having to attend parties where you gotta dress the way you used to in church?