That's the case for anything you're carrying. The important point is that common lighters and matches are legal in carry-on luggage. I can't worry about every little whim of every TSA security personnel. The best I can sanely do is know the law and proceed accordingly. I'll take my chances that I may lose about a dollar's worth of gear. A mini Bic is about a dollar, and matches are even less than that.

Your experience is different than mine. I just got back from an international trip where TSA security was a notch higher, including more check points. I had in my carry-on a lighter and other legal items. I'm a big guy who was wearing cargo pants and a military-style sun hat. I was not stopped once. I have also carried a lighter on national flights without being stopped. It's funny to note that TSA confiscated a sea shell that my fiance (right in front of me) had in her carry-on.

What works for me is ignoring rumors, directly reading the TSA prohibited list for myself, and knowing what's on me. I also make sure not to set off the body scanner. If a person gets pulled aside for a body search, it's likely that some legal items will be confiscated from the person's carry-on bags. That has happened to my dad on more than one occasion.