Phenological Observation Regional Temperature Conversion Chart

@ +70 degrees
Texans turn on the heat and unpack the thermal underwear.
People in MN go swimming in the lake.

@ +60 degrees
Floridians try to turn on the heat.
People in MN plant zucchini.

@ +50 degrees
Californians shiver uncontrollably.
People in MN sunbathe in Speedos.

@ +40 degrees
Italian & English cars won't start.
People in MN drive with the windows down.

@ +32 degrees
Distilled water freezes.
Lake Superior water gets thicker.

@ +20 degrees
Virginians put on coats, thermal underwear, gloves and woolly hats.
People in MN throw on a flannel shirt.

@ +15 degrees
Philadelphia landlords finally turn up the heat.
People in MN have the last cookout before it gets cold.

@ +10 degrees
People in Miami all die.
At least one MN preschooler will lick the flagpole.

@ 0 degrees
New Mexicans fly away to old Mexico .
People in MN get out their light winter coats.

@ -10 degrees
Hollywood disintegrates.
The Girl Scouts in MN button their top button and sell cookies door to door.

@ -25 degrees
Polar bears begin to evacuate the Arctic.
MN airport agents confiscate frozen lutefisk as a 'dangerous bludgeon'.

@ -30 degrees
Mount St. Helen's freezes.
People in MN go ice fishing.

@ -40 degrees
Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.
MInnesotans get frustrated because they can't thaw the keg.

@ -45 degrees
Microbial life no longer survives on dairy products.
Cows in MN complain about farmers with cold hands.

@ -70 degrees
ALL atomic motion stops (absolute zero in the Kelvin scale).
People in MN start saying, "Cold 'nuff for ya?"

@ -100 degrees
Hell freezes over.
The MN Vikings win the Super Bowl!

OK, pretty funny.

However, last I checked, absolute zero is −459.67°F.

HJ

You're not too far off for Floridians.

Maybe others down here are more cold hardy but the other night I woke up shivering. Thermometer said it was 77F. I pulled up the fleece blanket I keep at the foot of the bed for such occasions and was comfortable the rest of the night. Found out the next day a cold front barreled through from up north.

On the other hand I must be getting old. The heat, mostly the humidity, started to bother me at night so a week into August I started to run the AC set at about 80F. I turn it on at about 2200 and off when I get up in the morning. It doesn't run much but dries out the air. Last year I didn't use the AC at all.

Jeez, that's the highest temperature I can take while sleep comfortably.

Sleep comfortably???

Let me tell you about my nights with DW; AKA The Hotflash Queen. The windows are open in the dead of winter in Minnesota, and the ceiling fan is set on 'overdrive'. The blankets are 'burritoed' to my immediate right, and one or more of my extremities are exposed to deadly wind-chill factors. I feel like I'm strapped to the top of a rescue chopper in the Yukon. Even our attack weiner dog Bluto curls himself up and compresses to the size of a hockey puck.

True, but Absolut zero is an empty bottle.