Phenological Observation Regional Temperature Conversion Chart

@ +70 degrees
Texans turn on the heat and unpack the thermal underwear.
People in MN go swimming in the lake.

@ +60 degrees
Floridians try to turn on the heat.
People in MN plant zucchini.

@ +50 degrees
Californians shiver uncontrollably.
People in MN sunbathe in Speedos.

@ +40 degrees
Italian & English cars won't start.
People in MN drive with the windows down.

@ +32 degrees
Distilled water freezes.
Lake Superior water gets thicker.

@ +20 degrees
Virginians put on coats, thermal underwear, gloves and woolly hats.
People in MN throw on a flannel shirt.

@ +15 degrees
Philadelphia landlords finally turn up the heat.
People in MN have the last cookout before it gets cold.

@ +10 degrees
People in Miami all die.
At least one MN preschooler will lick the flagpole.

@ 0 degrees
New Mexicans fly away to old Mexico .
People in MN get out their light winter coats.

@ -10 degrees
Hollywood disintegrates.
The Girl Scouts in MN button their top button and sell cookies door to door.

@ -25 degrees
Polar bears begin to evacuate the Arctic.
MN airport agents confiscate frozen lutefisk as a 'dangerous bludgeon'.

@ -30 degrees
Mount St. Helen's freezes.
People in MN go ice fishing.

@ -40 degrees
Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.
MInnesotans get frustrated because they can't thaw the keg.

@ -45 degrees
Microbial life no longer survives on dairy products.
Cows in MN complain about farmers with cold hands.

@ -70 degrees
ALL atomic motion stops (absolute zero in the Kelvin scale).
People in MN start saying, "Cold 'nuff for ya?"

@ -100 degrees
Hell freezes over.
The MN Vikings win the Super Bowl!