"I can't cook worth a damn."

Nobody was born knowing how to cook. You can learn. Get a good basic cookbook like The All New Good Housekeeping Cook Book, or the Fannie Farmer Cookbook. Follow the directions EXACTLY, at least the first time. Then practice.

How's this for difficult: Roasted Chicken. Get a 4-lb chicken. Take it out of the bag, remove the stuff from the body cavity and give it to the dog (raw chicken necks are fine), wash the chicken in cold water (no soap), pat dry with a paper towel, put in a pan with sides (not a cookie sheet), and stick it in the oven for two hours. Remove and eat. Does that sound hard to you?

Check your local health food stores or Kroger/Fred Meyer bulk food bins for whole grains. If that doesn't work, go to Bob's Red Mill for whole grains (including oat groats), flours, meals and cereals or Frontier Foods Co-op and see if anything strikes your fancy. If your local health food store carries anything from Frontier Foods, they will usually order special stuff for you and you don't have to pay shipping (and often get the bulk price, too).

And... ahem... if you can't cook, you aren't prepared.

Wouldn't it be awful, the day after the Big One, if the Pasta Fairy got into your stock of food and stole all your canned spaghetti, lasagna, vienna sausage, corned beef hash and Dinty Moore beef stew and replaced it with pasta and whole grains? What would you do, run crying down the street, crying for a cook?

I'll even tell you a secret...

Learn to cook adequately, but learn a few things REALLY well (make it easy, pick things you like), and offer to provide those things for potlucks. I'm an okay cook, but I can make a great gravy, a wonderful chicken/cheese/picante casserole, the best guacamole, really good chocolate chip cookies, and KILLER cheesecakes, and everyone thinks I'm a fantastic cook. Actually, for work, I've never had to get past the cheesecakes. Co-workers sidle up to me and whisper, "Are you bringing the chocolate walnut cheesecake, or the pineapple-coconut one, or the lavender one?"

Sue