So, yesterday afternoon, I get a frantic call from my wife - my 2-year old younger son had managed to lock himself inside an empty room in our new home, and she could not get him out. After suggesting a variety of ways she might open the door (she was not amused when I suggested kicking it in!), none of which worked, she told me to call a locksmith.

After hanging up the phone, I realized that a locksmith would take a while, and cost lots of money. Being an EMT on the rescue squad, I know the local fire chief quite well, so I called him. I know know he keeps a halligan tool in his car that would get him past the door quickly without too much damage.

Unfortunately, he was out of the village at the time. He did, however, give me the cell phone number of the police officer on patrol in the village, whom I also know pretty well. He stopped by the house and had my son freed within about five minutes of the call.

It occurred to me, that in addition to any skills and equipment that I might have accumulated over the years, it is the relationships with people like these, people nearby who are willing to lend a hand when things get tough, that will add a lot to my ability to survive whatever emergencies might come my way. If the power goes out, we'll all help each other. If someone is hurt or sick, we all come running.

Anyhow, I think that our relationships can be equally important to our survival during a crisis as our gear, and this small incident reinforced that. Going it alone is never the first option.

Nobody can know it all. Nobody can do it all. There is a very good reason that humans are social animals; the ones that couldn't get along with others, compromise, and work in a group died out.

It is good to have a wide diversity of friends with a wide diversity of skills, talents, points of view, knowledge. You never know what might make a difference.

People need to remember that you survive to get back to society. To return to the relative safety of the fold. It is good to get away from people for a time. But you always come back. Often with a renewed appreciation for how good life can be withing a social order and contract.

For future reference: Most interior privacy lock sets have a simple way of disengaging the lock from the other side designed in to handle just that sort of situation. Privacy locks are just there to keep people from inadvertently walking in. With a few easy step, and sometimes a few common tools, they are easy to defeat.

Look closely at the doorknob often there is a hole or what looks like a key slot in the middle. If it is a slot you can usually release the lock by inserting a screwdriver and twisting. If it is a hole the usual method is to insert a stiff piece of wire and thrust it until you hit a latch that releases the lock. Wire from a coat hanger, straightened with pliers, is usually stiff enough. Sometimes the hole you put the wire in is not actually on the knob but near it.

Failing that it is often easy to insert a knife blade and to use the edge to work the bolt out of the striker so the door will open. If the door opens opposite the side you're on it often helps to pry the jamb away from the frame and to work the bolt back by by working between the jamb and the frame.

If the door opens toward the side your on removing the hinge pins should allow you to take the door off the hinges and gain access that way.

Some privacy locks can be released by simply twisting the handle one way, pushing on the door to stop the bolt from sliding back into the striker and repeating the other way.

If a child gets locked in it is best to calm them down, reassure them everything is okay and that they are not in trouble, get them to wipe their hands so they aren't sweaty from panic, then get them to try to turn the handle with both hands. Most privacy locks disengage if the lock-side handle is turned.

It is a good idea for every family to have a short pry-bar or large flat-blade screwdriver to handle prying and wedging jobs. Interior doors are typically light-weight and easy to force once you know how and have done it a few times.

And, apparently, your wife. Who somehow managed to dump the responsibility of calling a locksmith onto you, even though she was the one at home with your child at the time.

One has to hope that the adults would remain calm, and clearheaded enough to deal creatively with the situation. I'm always amazed at how so often dealing with emergencies large and small comes down to: Don't Panic.

She didn't do as bad as many others. She had the insight to recognize that she didn't know what to do and the fortitude to get help. Crazy as it seems there have been cases where the person just walked away, sat in a corner in a near catatonic state, or got drunk. This type of call is usually a regular event for most fire departments. Once called most fire departments will come and get the kid out. An easy feel-good call for a underemployed small department. An annoying nuisances for busy larger ones. But generally they do come.

They might use on of these to save time:
http://www.thefirestore.com/store/product.cfm/pid_1177_6_shove_knife/

Our interior doors all have the screw slot to open from the other side if say a toddler locks themselves in.

Most privacy locks are easy to get through once you know the secret of that particular lock type. IMHO every renter and homeowner should take the time to familiarize themselves with the locks in their home and how to bypass the privacy locks.

Even if you don't have kids. You never know when kids might visit and, of course, older folks can have difficulties. In one case I'm familiar with an elderly gentleman had a seizure and the fact that someone was able to bypass the privacy lock in seconds saved time and avoided the need to damage the door. As it was it also avoided injuring him because his head was in the swing of the door.

It is really easy to figure out and practice when your not under pressure and have access to both sides of the door.

Very true. While I don't think the OP meant it that way, "relationships" definitely include the familial and marital types! Can you imagine bugging out with the [insert spouse here] nagging the entire way, or not helping with gas pumping, or something else?

I disagree - that is a healthy division of labor. The one at home can devote 100% attention to calming the child, the one away can deal with whatever needs to be done on the phone.


When things get ugly and you can't think straight it is very good advice to call for help. Ever tried thinking when your kid is wailing in panic? (Not pain, not discomfort or "I need attention", but sheer terror and panic?) Not easy, I can tell you that. A calm, reassuring voice of reason on the phone is really good help in getting a grip and finding the right solution.


I had my wife on the phone in exactly the same situation. We were also new to the town and the apartment, didn't know any neighbors or anything. Luckily I had to fix some similar lock just days ago, so I knew exactly how to take it apart and I knew exactly where I put the tools. I could give her pretty detailed instructions (flat screwdriver THERE, have a go at those two screws there, now just put whatever into that key slot and twist). Problem solved in less than 2 minutes.

Concur 100% on relationships. The priority list for any crisis is:

1) mindset (includes attitude & relationships)
2) tactics (can also include relationships)
3) skill
4) gear

Problem is, it's a lot easier to buy gear (& talk about it on the internet) than do the hard & sometimes humbling work of developing mindset, tactics and skill.

IMO this is why you see so many fat guys at the range bragging about their latest handgun, when losing 50 lbs would go much farther to improve their personal security and lifespan than any gun.

Never underestimate the willingness of people to help if asked. Many people are shy about asking for help for fear of rejection or it becoming common knowledge out that you might need help. But the fear is largely unfounded. Off the top of my head I can think of a couple of dozen cases where a friend was helped by a stranger or I helped someone I didn't know, or where a stranger helped me. Thinking hard I can't come up with but one case where someone was asked and they didn't help. And that was for a very good reason.

Giving or getting assistance is also a good way of starting off a friendship and/or forming up a loose mutual aid relationship.



IMHO a lot of gear gets bought, a lot food gets eaten, a lot of alcohol gets consumed as people seek to compensate for feelings and situations they can't bear to confront directly. Guns in particular have a cache of power, control, potency that is often used as comfort and compensation for the grind and disappointments of modern life. While guns are useful tools, and sometimes a source of community, with people getting together to socialize and for mutual support in a common interest, all too often they end up being isolating and solitary activities.

To me the psychological/sociological aspects of survival/preparation/survivalism are far more interesting than the minutia of gear and supplies.

Actually, I think my wife did OK. It really was an odd situation - we had litterally closed on a new house that morning (in the same community we've been living in for the past 18-months). She and the kids were exploring the new home while I went to work to try and pay for the mortgage note I had just signed . There were no phone books or internet connections in the house that she could use to look up a locksmith. She couldn't leave the house with the 2-year old trapped, and she also had to look after our 4-year old who was in the house as well.

The first thing I told her was to look for a nail or a wire coat hanger and to push it through the hole on her side of the door knob. Apparently, the sellers had done a really good job of cleaning out the house because there was nothing whatsoever in the house she could use as a tool to get into the room. She also tried on her own, but failed to jimmy the latch with a credit card, and then called me for help. She figured I would probably know the quickest was to get the door open, and it turns out she was right!

Interestingly, when I asked her how the officer opened the door, she said he used his folding knife, which looked exactly like the folding knife that I carry. I think that made a big impression on her as to why I always carry a knife, and why I'm trying to get her to do the same.

Overall, a network of family and neighbours is hugely important. We humans are still in existence only because we can (sort of) work together. Teamwork and trust, within families and communities, makes the world go 'round.

I agree, your wife did all right. She had effective communications, knew who to call, and got it done. She didn't freeze, and didn't leave the kids unattended.

If I may suggest, the follow-up from you might be a casual discussion along the lines of "you did great; what would Plan C have been?" Throw in a few ideas without getting too heavy. 911 would be high on the list, of course. But from a self-sufficiency point of view, maybe talk about what tools were in the car that might have helped (tire iron?). What's the family priority, protecting the woodwork or the kids? Stuff is easy to replace, break it if you have a good reason.

My $0.02.

My original estimate, not that I have any right to judge, was that she did better than some. There are some real pieces of work out there who have royally fornicated with the football in less stressful situations. Given the further revelation of context I think she did as well as anyone had any reason to expect. Without tools, previous knowledge, and backup, unable to leave, she didn't have many options and did quite well.

Yeah, I suppose she did better than I originally thought too. Yeah, she could have left (I mean, c'mon, the kid's already alone in the room. He doesn't know if she's on the other side of the door). She shouldn't have...

Anyway, apparently she had a cell phone? 411 works on them too. But, whatever, I'm being nitpicky - she did what she had to do, improvised, etc. Situation resolved without casualty. Mission accomplished!

Good idea on the after-action follow up. Did she have tools in the car that she could have used? (she didn't? time to look up car kits! She did? What better time to use them?!)

So do I


I think there is some gender difference at play here, too. My wife will call me / her sister / her mom whenever things are hard. I think seeking the console and sympathy of others is a healthy impulse which is more dominant in females.

Myself, I try to do everything myself. Even at to point where some assistance or even just having a listener would be highly beneficial. That, I think, is a very typical male way of doing things.


Nothing wrong with either impulse, whatever gets the job done and all that. As always, finding the balance greatly improves things. My wife is pretty resourceful and by no means helpless if on-the-phone or in-person consolation is not available. But I could learn to ask for help earlier. And I do think asking for help or a listener is more healthy than trying to do everything all by yourself. No matter how well equipped, some tasks will be just to exhaustive to deal with all by yourself.

And helping others have its own rewards and merits. Art_in_FL summarized pretty good why humans evolved in communities, not in isolation. The just-2-parents-and-2-kids family is a pretty recent invention.

Well said!

I include my girlfriend in the important survival skills I learn. She rolls her eyes a lot of times. If a little sinks in, then it's better than nothing.

I can relate to this. Be careful not to pressure her into this stuff or give her the impression that you're a "crazy survivalist." Instead treat it like a hobby and share it with her when opportunities arise. Hopefully she'll come around.

"I include my girlfriend in the important survival skills I learn. She rolls her eyes a lot of times. If a little sinks in, then it's better than nothing."

Just wait until the time she needs it. The light bulb will go on.

Sue

My wife was pretty irritated with me when I asked her to bring the BOB I built for her on a camping trip with her Girl Scout Troop. She brought it under protest.

She used the multitool, the first aid kit, and the flashlight in the BOB on that trip. Nobody had thought to bring a knife or a first aid kit, and the cheap incan flashlight that she bought at Target broke within the first few minutes.

Now she keeps the BOB in her car. She knows what's in it and lets me know when items are used so that I can restock it.