Hi, my name is Tom, and I have five sons.

When they aren't trying to kill each other or themselves, they are trying to kill me.

We've been to the ER a few times - suprisingly few. Although it amazes me even more that I never saw the inside of one as a kid.

What is it about a boy that makes him think that if jumping from the 4th step up hurt a little, he should try the 5th step to see what happens?

We also have a baby daughter. She's human, not simian like the others. Totally different world. People say girls are expensive. What's a bunch of clothes and shoes compared to totalling the car or burning down the garage?

Should be interesting when she tries to start dating, what with 5 older brothers. That's my only comforting thought.