Saw this on another forum and it made my day...




(This Letter Was Posted to Craig's List Personals

To the Guy Who Tried to Mug Me in Downtown Savannah night before last. Date: 05-27-09, 1:43 A M EST.

I was the guy wearing the black Burberry jacket that you demanded that I hand over, shortly after you Pulled the knife on my girlfriend, threatening our lives and me. You also asked for my girlfriend's purse and earrings.

I can only hope that you somehow come across this rather important message.

First, I'd like to apologize for your embarrassment when I drew my pistol after you took my jacket.

The evening was not that cold, and I was wearing the jacket for a reason.

My girlfriend had just bought me that Kimber Model 1911 .45 ACP pistol for my birthday, and we had picked up a shoulder holster for it that very evening.

Obviously you agree that it is a very intimidating weapon when pointed at your head isn't it?

I know it probably wasn't fun walking back to wherever you'd come from bare footed since I made you leave your shoes, cell phone, and wallet with me. [That prevented you from calling or running to your buddies to come help mug us again].

After I called your mother, or "Momma" as you had her listed in your cell, I explained the entire episode Of what you'd done. Then I went and filled up my gas tank as well as four other people's in the gas station on your credit card. The guy with the big motor home was extremely grateful!

I gave your shoes to a homeless guy outside Vinnie Van Go Gos, along with all the cash in your wallet.

[That made his day!]

I then threw your wallet into the big pink "pimp mobile" that was parked at the curb ... after I broke the windshield and side window and keyed the entire driver's side of the car.

Later, I called a bunch of phone sex numbers from your cell phone. Ma Bell just now shut down the line, although I only used the phone for a little over a day now, so what's going on with that?

Earlier, I managed to get in two threatening phone calls to the DA's office and one to the FBI, while mentioning President PHRASECENSOREDPOSTERSHOULDKNOWBETTER. as my possible target. The FBI guy seemed really intense and we had a nice long chat

(I guess while he traced your number, etc.).

In a way, perhaps I should apologize for not killing you ... But I feel this type of retribution is a far more appropriate punishment for your threatened crime. I wish you well as you try to sort through some of these rather immediate pressing issues, and can only hope that you have the opportunity
to reflect upon, and perhaps reconsider the career path you've chosen to pursue in life.

Remember, next time you might not be so lucky.

Have a good day!

Thoughtfully yours,
Alex

P.S. Remember this motto. . .An armed society makes for a more civil society!

Excellent!

Too funny.

Maybe I'm wrong, but if I pulled a gun on someone - even in self-defense - and then made them give me their shoes, cell phone and wallet, couldn't I be charged with robbery using a firearm?

I'm thinking of O.J. Simpson.

Yes, you could. But remember this story is fictional, a classic urban myth.

Yes, it's probably an urban myth (although Snopes says 'undetermined'), but it is FUNNY! It's my first big laugh of the New Year!

Thanks!

Sue

Interesting how that "motto" follows a story where the armed member of society shows no civility. lol

Hopefully that little fable is bunk because the story's "hero" is just as big a ******* as the would-be mugger.

I'm all for gun ownership, except for the the author of that little piece of fiction... lol

I was catching up on my News of the Weird reading, and found this rather relevant item from September:

"Kevin Ollie, 17, and Damien Cole, 19, completely failed in their attempted street robbery in Milwaukee, Wis., in August, when they accosted a young man and woman. The male "victim" drew his own gun, shot Ollie fatally and held Cole for the police. Later, Cole, though not the shooter, was charged with Ollie's death under the state's "felony murder" rule, which makes felons responsible if anyone at the scene should die as a result of the crime. Cole could get 55 years in prison. [WTMJ-TV (Milwaukee), 8-18-09]"


I wonder how the call might have gone:

"911, what is your emergency?"

"Send the cops! Two guys just tried to rob us and I shot one and have the other on the ground! And be sure you tell 'em the guy with the gun is the GOOD guy, okay?"

"What a fine mess you've gotten us into now, Ollie"
;-)