Blindfold Through the Woods

I have positional vertigo and expect to lose my sense of balance and to fall once in a while. I minimize this by trying to keep my head steady, looking at a horizon, and watching where I put my feet. None of this works when walking blindfold through the woods.

Walking blindfold with your hand on someone's shoulder gives you lots of clues. Walking blindfold along a string gives you a route to follow but fewer clues. Walking blindfold on your own trying to get to a distant, intermittent sound offers a direction once in a while and no other clues.

I have now done each of these things twice. Once in a prior class and once as part of the PS1 class. I have technically succeeded but have a long way to go to feel comfortable doing these things.

Walking blindfold behind someone is relatively easy. I just listen and trust. Not too bad.

Walking blindfold along a string is tougher. I have fallen at least once each time. My feet slip on something, I cannot see to safely recover, and so sometimes I fall. Nothing too bad, no injuries, but not how I want to do it. Not how I think I am supposed to do it.

Walking blindfold toward a distant, intermittent sound is very challenging. I have gotten thoroughly turned around every time. Last time I was able to detect my direction errors more quickly and correct them, so I finished the exercise and got to the goal. I have fallen, or at least slipped down on my rear, each time. I think I am getting better at detecting obstacles, taking the time to understand the obstacles I encounter, and making more effective choices about going around, under, or through them.

But I have not been calm or confident during any of these exercises. My mind is concerned about falling and taking too much time.

As a result, I probably am trying too hard and going too fast. Too fast into trouble instead of around it. Too fast to always keep my feet.

Of course, they did not teach us how to walk through the woods until the day after these exercises!

Next time I will know how to walk more effectively, though it seems like it will be much slower. I cannot wait to see how it affects my experience of the blindfold exercises. I wonder if I can get through without falling?

My biggest hope is that I can calm down and enjoy letting the experience unfold. I would like to let go of my sense that I am fighting the forest.