I don't know if you guys/gals have read this one before, but I thought it was a great joke and HAD to share!

Jim, a lawyer from Grand Island, Nebraska finally decides to take a
vacation. He books himself on a Caribbean cruise and proceeds to have the
time of his life, until the boat sinks. He finds himself swept up on the
shore of an island with no other people, no supplies, nothing. Only bananas
and coconuts.

After about four months, he is lying on the beach one day when the most
gorgeous woman he has ever seen rows up to him. In disbelief, he asks her,
"Where did you come from? How did you get here?"

"I rowed from the other side of the island," she says. "I landed here when
my cruise ship sank."

"Amazing," he says. "You were really lucky to have a row boat wash up with
you."

"Oh, this?" replies the woman. "I made the rowboat out of raw materials I
found on the island. The oars were whittled from gum tree branches, I wove
the bottom from palm branches, and the sides and stern came from a
Eucalyptus tree."

"But-but, that's impossible," stutters Ed. "You had no tools or hardware.
How did you manage?"

"Oh, that was no problem," replies the woman. "On the south side of the
island, there is a very unusual strata of alluvial rock exposed. I found if
I fired it to a certain temperature in my kiln, it melted into forgeable
ductile iron. I used that for tools and used the tools to make
the hardware."

Ed is stunned.

"Let's row over to my place," she says.

After a few minutes of rowing, she docks the boat at a small wharf. As Ed
looks onto shore, he nearly falls out of the boat. Before him is a stone
walk leading to an exquisite bungalow painted in blue and white. While the
woman ties up the rowboat with an expertly woven hemp rope, he could only
stare ahead, dumbstruck.

As they walk into the house, she says casually, "It's not much, but I call
it home. Sit down please. Would you like to have a drink?"

"No, no thank you," he says, still dazed. "I can't take any more coconut
juice."

"It's not coconut juice," the woman replies. "I have a still. How about a
Pina Colada?"

Trying to hide his continued amazement, he accepts, and they sit down on
her couch to talk.

After they have exchanged their stories, the woman announces, "I'm going to
slip into something more comfortable. Would you like to take a shower and
shave? There is a razor upstairs in the cabinet in the bathroom."

No longer questioning anything, Ed goes into the bathroom. There, in the
cabinet, is a razor made from a bone handle. Two shells honed to a hollow
ground edge are fastened onto its end inside of a swivel mechanism.

"Wow! This woman is amazing," he muses. "What next?"

When returns, she greets him wearing nothing but vines, strategically
positioned, and smelling faintly of gardenias. She beckons for him to sit
down next to her.

"Tell me," she begins suggestively, slithering closer to him, "We've been
out here for a really long time. You've been lonely. There's something I'm
sure you really feel like doing right now, something you've been longing
for all these months... You know..."

She stares into his eyes. He can't believe what he's hearing: "You mean----",
he swallows excitedly, "I can check my e-mail from here?"
_________________________
I think the mistake a lot of us make is thinking the state-appointed shrink is our friend.