OK Cal. I will be keeping an eye out for them.
Are they like a paper towel or more like cloth?

a bandanna or handkerchief will fit the bill.

I'd want some towels so soak up the lard from my canned tactical bacon:

but I'm not sure how I'd get the lard out of the towel. Hmmm.... .

http://www.thinkgeek.com/caffeine/wacky-candy/c399/
says the unopened bacon is good for ten years. Bacon is a staple.

Puts new meaning on the phrase "Saving your bacon."