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#169688 - 03/18/09 11:49 PM Re: Well, The "Other Shoe" Fell on Son#2 [Re: Leigh_Ratcliffe]
Desperado Offline
Veteran

Registered: 11/01/08
Posts: 1530
Loc: DFW, Texas
Originally Posted By: Leigh_Ratcliffe
Originally Posted By: Desperado
Originally Posted By: Leigh_Ratcliffe
"Son#1 (my only son) was then invited to take urine and hair drug tests and passed with flying colors."


Pardon me, but from the tone of your post, why do I think that "invitation" was not voluntary?

Did he volunteer to take a test or did you compell him to do so?

Please do not misunderstand me here, I understand how betrayed you feel, but from both an ethical point of view and in terms of the basis of trust between you and your son that concerns me.



Drug tests are not voluntary inside my house. My son (17) and daughter (13) have known from the time they were old enough to understand that random drug screens would occur as a mater of business.

I have always told them (and followed thru) that if I test them, everyone in the house tests at the same time.

Sorry if that ruffles anyone's feathers, but I am basing that policy on the childhood I lived. Don't like it any way... Tough.


Ok, fair enough. At least your even handed about it. But exercise caution, particularly once they both become legal adults. Being sued for libel by your own children would be embarrassing to say the least.


One of the reasons for this is life experience. There was a group of 13 friends growing up together. Myself and one other are the only ones to live to see 21 and beyond. All the others were killed or killed themselves. Of the 13 only two got or stayed clean. Guess the numbers tell the story....

I was the one who got clean.


Edited by Desperado (03/18/09 11:50 PM)
_________________________
I do the things that I must, and really regret, are unfortunately necessary.

RIP OBG

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#169745 - 03/19/09 06:41 PM Re: Well, The "Other Shoe" Fell on Son#2 [Re: Desperado]
Leigh_Ratcliffe Offline
Veteran

Registered: 03/31/06
Posts: 1355
Loc: United Kingdom.
Originally Posted By: Desperado
Originally Posted By: Leigh_Ratcliffe
Originally Posted By: Desperado
Originally Posted By: Leigh_Ratcliffe
"Son#1 (my only son) was then invited to take urine and hair drug tests and passed with flying colors."


Pardon me, but from the tone of your post, why do I think that "invitation" was not voluntary?

Did he volunteer to take a test or did you compell him to do so?

Please do not misunderstand me here, I understand how betrayed you feel, but from both an ethical point of view and in terms of the basis of trust between you and your son that concerns me.



Drug tests are not voluntary inside my house. My son (17) and daughter (13) have known from the time they were old enough to understand that random drug screens would occur as a mater of business.

I have always told them (and followed thru) that if I test them, everyone in the house tests at the same time.

Sorry if that ruffles anyone's feathers, but I am basing that policy on the childhood I lived. Don't like it any way... Tough.


Ok, fair enough. At least your even handed about it. But exercise caution, particularly once they both become legal adults. Being sued for libel by your own children would be embarrassing to say the least.


One of the reasons for this is life experience. There was a group of 13 friends growing up together. Myself and one other are the only ones to live to see 21 and beyond. All the others were killed or killed themselves. Of the 13 only two got or stayed clean. Guess the numbers tell the story....

I was the one who got clean.


And that is the best of all possible reasons for doing the tests.

Also: in answer to another post by another member: Once children become legal adults, they are exactly that: legal adults.

They enjoy the same rights and duties as any other adult. Including the right to seek redress. Demanding, requiring or whatever that someone takes a drug test is (unless a legal duty) tantamount to an accusation of criminal misconduct. Under most jurisdictions that is either slander or libel.
_________________________
I don't do dumb & helpless.

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#169806 - 03/20/09 01:06 PM Re: Well, The "Other Shoe" Fell on Son#2 [Re: Leigh_Ratcliffe]
paramedicpete Offline
Pooh-Bah

Registered: 04/09/02
Posts: 1920
Loc: Frederick, Maryland
Quote:
Also: in answer to another post by another member: Once children become legal adults, they are exactly that: legal adults.

They enjoy the same rights and duties as any other adult. Including the right to seek redress. Demanding, requiring or whatever that someone takes a drug test is (unless a legal duty) tantamount to an accusation of criminal misconduct. Under most jurisdictions that is either slander or libel.



I just don’t see how requiring a drug test or any other requirement of an adult child set forth as a condition to live at home of the parents to be libel or slander. The adult child is free to either adhere to the conditions set forth by the parents or live on their own.

Pete

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#169807 - 03/20/09 01:15 PM Re: Well, The "Other Shoe" Fell on Son#2 [Re: Leigh_Ratcliffe]
Russ Offline
Geezer

Registered: 06/02/06
Posts: 5357
Loc: SOCAL
Originally Posted By: Leigh_Ratcliffe
Demanding, requiring or whatever that someone takes a drug test is (unless a legal duty) tantamount to an accusation of criminal misconduct. Under most jurisdictions that is either slander or libel.
I'll pile on too. Drug tests are a standard for some jobs; I took one the day I signed on to my current job and I was given no warning ahead of time. I see nothing wrong with requesting a test as a condition for an adult to live under your roof, even if they are family.
_________________________
Better is the Enemy of Good Enough.
Okay, what’s your point??

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