I wouldn't be concerned about appearances. If you have to draw down on someone, a 12 gauge aperture is going to be just as intimidating whether it looks combat ready or more aesthetic. (Memories of John Wayne pulling up a Greener side by side in the face of a man about to attack him with an axe come to mind)

Target loads for in home defense are more than adequate. I much prefer them inside the home, for the reasons mentioned previous. Shooting an invader at close range with a target load of #7 or #8 shot in a 2 3/4 inch round, even at modest shotgun velocities, is still going to hit the opponent with a lot more energy than even my hottest 44 magnum loads out of my Super Redhawk. Shot dispersion, even out of an 18" cylinder bore barrel is going to be minimal. I would expect the pattern to be no more than 12" across shooting the length of my bedroom, which is a good 25 feet (based on a typical 60" dispersal at 40 yards). Lighter loads with smaller shot size generally pattern tighter, and the overpenetration problems are greatly mitigated, and the reduction in perceived recoil is significant, and you are still taking shots at someone with a big bore shotgun, which they will be fully aware of even if you don't hit them the first time.

I always tell my wife and daughters to keep the butt against your shoulder, aim for the belt buckle, and remember how many shots you've taken. The last thing you wannt to hear in a gunfight is the click on an empty chamber, for it also tells the opponent you are now likely unarmed (except for wielding the gun as a club). In home defense, I don't concern myself with reloading the gun. If 8 rounds don't get the job done, then more likely won't be any better, and you probably are just wasting your ammo anyways. There's no reason to fire for effect with a shotgun in a house. After the first two rounds, everyone nearby will know what's going on.