First, welcome.

Second, get over the idea that you are actually going to carry all that gear and supplies on your back. Think about those kits in the context of bugging in, either at home or at work. I drive a pick-up with a bed cover and keep my 96 hour kit and other camping supplies there. If I'm home I add it to the bug-in supplies. If I'm at work it provides supplies to allow me to wait out a period when attempting to get home would be a bad idea. I don't have to be at work, the truck is nearby wherever I happen to be. The only part of this kit designed to go with me is a Camelbak to carry lots of water and light shelter should I decide to walk home -- <20#.

Bottom line, it's your kit. Take the recommendations as a place to start and tune it to your specific needs.