Tillamook Bay Lifeboat Station, opening summer season, 1976.

I walk down the PCH to the boat shed. I pass 4 car collisions in less than the half block distance. I observe a cab over camper towing a airstream trailer and behind that a boat. He is backing the boat down the loading ramp. He hits the gas instead of the brakes. The huge V 8 puts everything into the water. Owner is screaming he's drowning. I remove my shoes and socks, walk into the waist deep bay and open his door, guiding him to the dry bosom of terra firma.Some jasper makes a joke about 'shallow water sailors.' I conduct an immediate courtesy safety inspection, find him wanting and tell him to buy 3 more PFDs before he launches.

I get down to the boats, find 3 tourists on board 'just looking around.' I threaten them with arrest for tresspassing on government property.I'm reminded they pay taxes. I remind them I do too and call the sherrif.

I am barely underway when a high performance oat races down the pier, hits the beach, becomes airborne and explodes in hte still jumbled logs from the great tilllamook burn decades past. Sherrif walks over with me and calls the coroner. We get a radio call about a flipped boat. I switch on the strobe, hit the horn and push my throttle forward. Some guy in a handbuilt, italian rowing shell crosses my bow yelling 'sailboats and rowing vessels have hte right of---crunch' and I take off most of his shell just forward of his feet. He is scraming profanities as I continue on.

We dodge several other 'vessels' oblivious to our strobe, siren and my loudhails before reaching the 'capsized vessel.' It is a boston whaler and out of gas, the one I told to buy 3 more PFDs.

I tow tehm in and am told our Co needs to talk. I return to the station and my rowing enthusiast is in the office screaming. Chief asks me what happened. I tell him. Chief says it's my call. I issued a citation for interfering with a emergency vessel underway.

We get a call about a 'disturbance' up at Neah Bay and the local sheriff couldn't investigate right away, and could we take jurisdiction? I drive up and discover a very dead, beached pilot whale. A crowd of people are stabbing it with every tool imaginable and one guy shooting the body with a BB gun.

I disarm the BB Nimrod and order the beach cleared. Nimrod protests. It's a Great White Shark and it needs killing to protect his grandkids in Portland.

I drive back to base, observing 3 more car accidents.

So, tell me again why you want to venture onto a waterway after a situation calls for buggong out?