We all pride ourselves on our ability to make shelter, fire and to find food and water. We stock up and prepare for the worst, just in case. These skills, very valuable, are not utilized often.

We deal with people everyday (most of us anyway) and will have to in a survival situation as well. Whether we are rescuing a stranded motorist (however stupid he may be), diagnosing an ailment, negotiating a trade or defusing a hostile situation, we will have to interface with people. There are very definite, teachable skills for doing this and they are taught to law enforcement and elements of DOD.

I have attended several courses on interviewing, interrogation, verbal communication and nonverbal communication, elicitation and counter-elicitation, and negotiation. I know that these have helped me every day, even in dealing with my kids.

I believe that anyone who deals with people can benefit from these skills, and that they can be considered a survival skill in many situations.

What are your thoughts?

A personal opinion...

For many of us I think skills like these will turn out to be THE survival skills if/when truly large scale disasters strike. The "Grizzly Adams" approach of living in the woods appeals to our macho psyche, but the reality is that throughout human history man has never faired well alone.... never.

We are a social animal and our god-given gifts are all tuned towards succeeding in a cooperative way. We don't see/smell/hear/run/leap etc as other animals. But we have the most advanced brains and communications capabilities.

Food for thought,

Sincere interest is probably one of the most effective communications tools I've ever dealt with. In a crisis situation where you may have to depend on the good will of others, I've found that being able to convince potential helpers that giving you aid is somehow a good thing and a worthy effort is invaluable.

It astonished me that so many US Ex-patriates working in Iraq seemed indifferent to their Iraqi co-workers. I always felt that the ones I got to work with would prove to be a tremendous asset to me if something unexpectedly severe occurred over there. I made a constant effort to convey to them a strong sense of care and concern, and did a great deal to treat them as special and important people. I started learning their language, I gave them extra money and tons of goodies, including healthy food and medicine. I argued on their behalf with upper management to improve their pay, work conditions, and security. I put them in charge of important tasks and helped them to learn the necessary skills to be successful. All this was reflected in how they treated me in return. I was invited to join them for meals, they would bring me things of interest and information they didn't share with other Americans, and they would talk to me about their personal lives and what they believed, and we could discuss religion and politics and not offend each other.

You don't gotta stick you neck out for everyone, but it seems prudent that where your well-being is at risk you invest a little effort in be-friending those around you that might make the difference between getting out alive or not at all. BTW, I did the same with our South African security group. I was the only ex-pat in our compound that would get special items shipped in from the wife just for them as well. SA ex special-forces find Oberto Beef Jerky far superior to their bil-tong. A case a month ensured that they all pretty much knew my name and who I was. That was money well spent in my book.

Excellent point. In business, communication skills are the primary factor that will determine your level of success. I have no doubt it applies to everything else in life too.

Here is a great resource:

How to win Friends and Influence People - Dale Carnegie

http://www.amazon.com/How-Win-Friends-In...2771&sr=8-1

Great point Montanero. I completely agree. Do you know if a civilian can attend some of those courses?

benjammin, I glad some people out there are reaching out and engaging the local people. I've traveled/worked/studied a lot in Central and South America and examples of "Ugly Americans" are everywhere. And just like stereotypes of any kind the extreme is what sticks. One jerk can ruin it for everyone else.

Not to get to political, on a recent trip to Eastern Europe I was talking with a guy on a long bus trip. He said he was always surprised to meet Americans because they never seem fit the stereo-type his culture has for us. In general (in that particular part of Europe) it is assumed that Americans are all rude, rich, cowboys who don't care about anything but sex, money and oil.
We spoke about US foreign policy, and I had to point out that most citizens (of any country) don't agree with everything their government does.

Concur 100% with your ideas; great topic.



Can you elaborate on this training? Can you point to publicly available references that are in line with what you learned there?

Here is one that I attended which anyone can attend. It is primarily geared toward law enforcement, but many people go to it. It teaches the nuts and bolts of effective communication, both how to communicate with others and how to keep them communicating with you.

http://www.analyticinterviewing.org/

People the world over are much more alike than not. We all have our preconceived notions, but they rarely hold true when faced with reality.

Dale Carnegie's book is the one to read if you have no others. There are others and I will look for titles. Having an understanding of how the human brain works helps. Dr. Paul Ekman has done a lot with reading facial expressions; and if you can read those accurately, you can know when someone is hiding something. Here are his two principle works:

http://www.amazon.com/Emotions-Revealed-...8507&sr=8-1

http://www.amazon.com/Telling-Lies-Marke...8507&sr=8-4

Here are some other books on the subject. They help understand how people make decisions, how the press influences you, how to try to get people to do what you want them to do and how to resist this type of influence. Understanding the techniques is like an inoculation against other people's influence. Obviously these techniques can be used for other than good intentions, but they are critical for accomplishing things as well.

http://www.amazon.com/Age-Propaganda-Eve...8701&sr=8-1

http://www.amazon.com/Mind-Wide-Open-Neu...8728&sr=8-1

http://www.amazon.com/Blink-Power-Thinki...8749&sr=8-1

http://www.amazon.com/Sources-Power-Peop...8775&sr=8-1

http://www.amazon.com/Memory-Enhancing-T...8829&sr=8-1

http://www.amazon.com/True-Believer-Thou...8876&sr=8-1

http://www.amazon.com/Resistance-Persuas...8918&sr=8-1

http://www.amazon.com/Covert-Persuasion-...9069&sr=8-1

http://www.amazon.com/Influence-Psycholo...9187&sr=8-1

As far as the training is concerned, it focuses on keeping the subject communicating to you, and that means reducing hostility, building trust (yes even when interrogating a terrorist) and making the subject feel that he can depend on you. It also emphasizes detecting deception. Understand that there is no such thing as a lie detector. Not a mechanical device nor a human one. You can detect when someone is concealing something and with proper interviewing (communicating) you can drill down to what it is. You can also help someone remember things which they would not otherwise come out with in the interviewing process. Little details which might remain hidden or things which they could not otherwise determine the relevance of.

Some of the courses last for weeks and some are just a couple of days.

I think that interpersonal communication may be a dieing art. In todays world more and more people do their "talking" via a computer, the internet, cell phones, and texting. Taking face to face to a real live person seems to be a real challenge to some of them. We are great for just BSing with people in the checkout lines of a store. Talking to a person who has just gotten off of the cell is harder and harder to do, they get an embarrassed look on their face, ignore us and everyone around them, and usually get back on the phone...

A few more endorsements...

+1 for Dr Cialdini. The Influence books are some of the best books for those looking to put structure/substance to things that we all sort of knew but could never quite put into words. For the record, he may be perhaps the single most boring personal speaker (his delivery is sooooo dull) but the substance is pure gold. If you don't like the book(s) try the audio CD but be warned, the first 20 minutes are BORING but stick with it. Worth every minute and you'll find yourself saying over and over "Aha! that's why that worked".
{{Side note: Montanero, Cialdini is pretty obscure compared to the big names out there. Clearly you've done a lot of work in this area.}}

I'm also a big Stephen Covey fan. Some of the his thoughts on interpersonal skills are simply spot-on. My personal favorite being his thoughts on working to first understand before being understood. I can't tell you just how powerful that concept is in the real world (and business).

Finally, there are two quotes I've found helpful over the years. Both come out of some serious sales training programs but I've found them to applicable to life in general...

- "People buy on emotion, and justify with reason" Why many of us want to disagree with this, it's often very very true. We "feel" a certain way about something, then look to justify those feelings with logic. The lesson here being if we only address the rational side, people will often still be very resistant to change/acceptance.

-"People won't remember what you say, they may remember what you do, they WILL remember how you made them feel". Clearly this quote is not to be taken literally. But the truth behind it is undeniable. Ask yourself, deep down inside, why you feel the way you do about people you've met. Beyond the word they kept (or broke), beyond what they did (or failed to), it's how those things made you feel. Important (or betrayed) for example. {{ The beef jerky example above is this concept in action. The jerky was no big deal, how it made those folks feel was }}

I know this is a rather squishy topic for a survial forum. But you just may find this way of thinking and focus on interpersonal skills will be one of the most valuable EDC's you can have.

Hope this helps,

Civilians can also look for classes or seminars on Effective Mediation. I do mediation as part of my business responsiblity's and everything listed above certainly aids in the training for it.

If you can't get people to set aside emotion and rhetoric and communicate, then hostilities on either side will certainly escalate. Knowing the difference between a real threat and a posture is key when deciding what you should do in a less than ideal situation.

Great topic. While I think $4000 and up classes might be way out of reach of most of us, there are other options.

You might also look for collaborative model leadership classes, texts, etc.

Definitely not something that today's schools are passing out. I remember some of the classes you speak of while thinking I was going to be a cop in the army. (The recruiter lied, but that's another story.) Some of the guys that rode with the 1/160th had those skills. Had I really understood what the 18's were about, I would have been interested. All I knew of was the Rambo end of the story. Now fat and old, I just apply those skills in business.

Did you enjoy the B4 identifier school? I thought is was harder than airborne and air assault combined.

Here is one example from one of my law enforcement friends on situational awareness and survival.

10 practical, tactical tips for safe contact with gangs




By Scott Buhrmaster, PoliceOne Columnist

Across the country, gang activity continues to grab headlines, as illustrated in numerous articles posted through PoliceOne recently. In Chicago, for example, it has been reported that officers are battling an influx of several new and violent gangs to the city. The New York Times reported earlier this month that although other types of homicides have fallen across the country, gang-related murders rose a staggering 50 percent from 1999-2002 (the last year statistics were available).

Although strong counter-gang efforts by officers in Los Angeles and Chicago (the nation's leading gang center) have effectively sparked a downtrend, LAPD Chief William J. Bratton, however, called gang violence "the emerging monster crime in America,” during a speech to a national gang violence conference in Los Angeles this month.

USA Today reported that some experts attribute an increase in murders in the first six months of 2003 to an overall resurgence in gang activity in many cities. And it likely comes as no surprise that even rural areas across the country are not immune to gangs. The Charlotte Observer, for example, recently ran a feature article focused on the preemptive counter-gang efforts of law enforcement in a rural North Carolina area where gang affiliation has surfaced. In fact, some remote areas outside larger cities may even attract urban gang members looking for a place to set up shop in an area where police resources may be fewer and, theoretically, awareness of gangs and tactics to suppress them may be lesser.

Regardless of where you work, you will likely face the challenge of approaching gang members at some point in your career. For some of you, this may already be a daily occurrence. For others, it may be a less frequent occurrence but nonetheless one you must be tactically prepared for.

Here are 10 pointers, presented specifically for patrol officers, to keep in mind when approaching gang members.

Although these really just scratch the surface of the myriad gangs contact tips, they do serve as a solid foundation for your next gang contact. They also serve as a reminder that contact with gang members has unique nuances that can make a dramatic difference between well-controlled contact and a free-for-all. The better prepared you are to recognize them, the better prepared you will be to safely navigate street contact with gang members.

* Stay alert to your surroundings

Knowing that they attract police attention, gang members standing in a group on the street may hide their weapons in easily accessible, nearby locations instead of on their person. Hiding spots of choice would be those easily overlooked by officers but offering quick access to gang members. Good examples are inside wheel wells of nearby cars, on top of parked car tires, inside a nearby garbage can, under bushes or under a piece of garbage on the ground.

Another surrounding threat may be gang members—both friendly and rival—across the street from your contact, secreted in nearby alleys or in vehicles, driving by. To fellow gang members, your contact with their street brothers and sisters may be considered threatening and warrant distractive, perhaps offensive, action. To rival gang members, your contact with their enemies may be seen as an opportunity to attack while the enemy isn't watching – particularly if the attacker is looking to score points for courage (and stupidity) for attacking in police presence.

An ideal gang contact will involve three officers: a contact officer making direct contact with the gang members, a primary cover officer spotting the contact officer and a secondary contact officer scanning the surrounding area for threats. Obviously that kind of personnel isn't always available, but when possible, the three-officer approach is preferable.

* Pay particular attention to underage juveniles

Knowing that underage juveniles may face lesser weapons possession charges than older members and may be considered less threatening to an approaching officer, gangs may have younger members carry their weapons for them. When approaching gang members, stay keenly alert to the younger members, both for the fact that they may be armed and for the fact that, in an effort to impress older members, they may be more inclined to confront, challenge or act violently towards law enforcement.

* Pay particular attention to females

Under the assumption that officers approaching a group of gang members may make the dangerous mistake of disregarding females as less of a tactical risk than males, gang members may have females carry their weapons for them. They may also do so with the thought that male officers without a female partner or a female officer close by may shy away from closely searching a female in the group, particularly if efforts to do so are met with resistance, threats and ridicule. Be prepared to handle females with as much tactical caution and thoroughness as you would with males.

* Watch out for dogs

Obviously the presence of a dog should warrant special attention, but be aware that gang members have been known to train dogs to respond to non-verbal attack commands like touching a pant leg, pulling on a shirt or dropping a leash. A dog can be a dangerous, even deadly weapon. Handle its presence at the scene as such.

* Avoid showing obvious disrespect

In gang culture, respect is often worth more than gold and can make the difference between life and death. Efforts to degrade, embarrass or show outward disrespect for gang members will likely be met with strong resistance and may incite violence that otherwise could have been avoided.

Regardless of your true feelings, try to maintain an air of respect without alluding to weakness, inferiority or lack of control of the situation. A facade of respect will help you maintain control and may yield mutual respect that will prove beneficial at the point of contact and in the future.

Do keep in mind, however, that in an arrest situation anything goes. If, for example, a gang member you are arresting asks that you not cuff him until he is out of eyeshot of his associates to avoid embarrassment, this is an obvious no-no. Tactical soundness takes priority over all other considerations.

* Don't overreact

"Overreacting tends to make officers appear to be someone who shows fear,” says PoliceOne gang expert and P1 Discussion Board moderator Bob Walker. "Gang members refer to this type of officer as ‘scary'--someone who shows fear and over reacts.” Fear alludes to vulnerability and lack of control, which may increase the chances that combative members may confront you. However, be sure that in your effort to avoid overreacting you don't UNDERreact. Remain in control of yourself and the situation while responding with the appropriate level of action.

* Know your jargon and your facts…or don't use them.

One of the quickest ways to loose respect and credibility and to put yourself in danger when dealing with gang members is to show signs of ignorance to gang jargon and culture. Although communicating with gangbangers on a colloquial level may facilitate better communication, deeper respect, and may yield more information, if you're not up to date on all the current street terms, don't use them. The same holds true with gang-related facts. If you're not sure of what you're saying, don't say it. In the world of gangs and law enforcement, ignorance is not bliss, it's dangerous.

"Most street officers who are not specifically assigned to gang units are dealing with all kinds of different people and occurrences,” says Walker "They don't have the convenience of dedicating time to learning lots of gang slang and then staying updated on changes.

"Once you start using slang, you're opening the door to the rest of your conversation being conducted in slang. If you're not fully confident of your ability to speak gang language, it's better to use no slang at all than to toss out a few terms in an effort to be cool, and then find yourself coming up short later in the conversation.”

* Walk the walk

Never threaten anything that you can't or won't follow through on. If you say you're going to respond in a certain way if your questions aren't answered, do it. If you say action will be taken if certain behavior isn't immediately terminated, take it. And on the flip side, if you promise something that you can in fact provide in response to cooperation, follow through on your "agreement.” Another quick way to loose credibility and diminish the odds of future cooperation is to make shallow threats and meaningless promises.

* Pay close attention to clothing

Some gangwear is conducive to effectively hiding weapons. Things like baggy pants with deep pockets, oversized shirts, thick coats, and ball caps lend themselves well to secreting a variety of weapons including, of course, guns. Pay very close attention to the movements of gangbangers who may be wearing clothes that are especially good for hiding weapons. Also remember to search very thoroughly and cautiously when that level of contact is warranted.

* Use ‘interest' as a means of gathering intelligence

You may be surprised at how much can be learned just by asking with interest and waiting for an answer. Whenever possible, ask gang members questions that may yield valuable intelligence information without a demanding or overbearing tone. Ask about things like leadership, new gang members, upcoming activities, problems with rival gangs, shifts in territory…anything and everything that may prove helpful to anti-gang efforts. Be sure to take notes when reasonable and be sure to share the intelligence with your command staff, fellow officers and your gang unit.

"...The recruiter lied..."

You too huh???

Great link NightHiker...

In a past life I helped develop and teach a course called "Sales Judo". And I have to say to this day, the principles are ones I use unconciously everyday.

And should any of you ever meet my wife, remember... we never had this discussion. Right? -smirk-

In a sales scenario (or other emotional situation), there is inherent resistance right up front. Confronting that head-on rarely works and often leads to unfortunate resluts. Instead a simple two-step approach works great:

Step #1 - "Block"
Like martial arts, defense is often taught first. The reasons are many. In this case, it's to get the subject to relax and drop his/her defenses. The fastest way? Make them feel heard and/or validated before proceeding. Emotionall speaking, you are getting them to drop their guard a bit.

Step #2 - "Counter"
Now, and only now, can you make your point. The best way is to make it a counter to their point. Not a direct rebuttal and hard-nosed, but instead using their force against them as it were.

For example...
Sales:
Attack -"Your prices are too high"
Block- "A lot of my customers think that at first, our products do tend toward the high end"
Counter- "You might find it interesting to know we actually shop the competition twice a week and publish their prices. Let's take a look"

Wife:
Attack - "You spend way too much time thinking about survival gear and skills"
Block - "I can see that. In fact, I do spend a lot of time on it. You're right."
Counter - "You deserve to know why I do. I'd like to share this article with you and we can discuss what seems reasonable. How does that sound?"

Clearly tone of voice, body languge and all of the other non-verbal cues need to be brought in here. But taking just a second to "block" first is a super easy and powerful communication technique.

Hope this helps,

Hi Montanero,

I agree with your thoughts on tactical communication being critical in survival, I routinely use it both on-the-job and in my private life.

I also have taken some training in this field, it started with something called "Verbal Judo" which is a book and now instructional program taught by Dr. George Thompson. I have provided the original book to many people as it is an excellent everyday life guide and not overly hard to read/understand.

I then moved on to taking courses with the Reid Institute which were excellent in teaching Interview and Interrogation Techniques. These course are not cheap but even reading this book was an terrific first step in learning these skills.

Your spouse and especially your teenage children may not appreciate you developing your knowledge in this area of communication.

Mike

Hehehe…

Effective communications classes: $5,000
Finally winning an argument with the wife: Priceless

Some of the comments here have me thinking. Let me ask you all a question.

In your opinion, what's more important in a truly large-scale disaster/survival scenario...

...tactical communication skills from an authorative standpoint?

or

...persuasive communication skills from a cooperative standpoint?

"...Finally winning an argument with the wife..."

Can't be done. You may think you won, but in a day/week/month/sometime, you will find out that you lost...

The ability to work well with others and barter (skills, knowledge, equipment, food, etc.) will be the most effective addition to your survival skill base in any short, medium or long term survival situations involving more than one person.

Building these skills up is very important and the time to do them is now, not later when you are stuck in the wilderness. The idea of the "lone survivor" seems to make people think basic communications skills, leadership skills, and team building skills are not a necessary part of survival training.

At the end of my University training in outdoor education I was a member of a 94 day canoe expedition that conducted all its decision making using consensus. It was extremely hard paddling 10-12 hours per day, in sometimes very poor conditions, with weeks between food drops, no communications equipments (it was 1989), and having to continually work out consensus decisions. It did teach me how amazing it is to force one self to cooperate on a long-term basis and work with ones small team and those we came across in the wilderness and at settlements we paddled through.

We spent much more time before the expedition working on communications skills, decision making, and team building than on packing or preserving food for the trip. Every hour of team building practise paid off in spades along the way. The scary part is that 20 years later we are all still good friends and even scattered to different cities we meet at least once a year.

Winning arguments with women requires a Zen approach. Eliminate the desire to win and you will have won.

Ditto OBG- When you think you have won an argument with the wife it can ony mean that for tactical reasons she felt it in her best interest for you to have this delusion!

OBG has is right.

Show me a man who wins arguments with his wife, and I will show you a man who will at some point be in need of a divorce attorney.

Sorry, I did not see this one before, I should pay closer attention.

For the "B4" identifier, I went to the USMC Scout Sniper Instructor Course in Quantico VA. We didn't have an ASI for it until fairly recently. It was more challenging than the other schools you mention. it also gives you skills for accomplishing the mission, not just a way to get there. The Army always focused too much on infiltration skills and (in my opinion, until lately) not enough on doing your job once you got there. Sniper, SERE and the CQB schools were probably my favorites, although HALO was a lot of fun also. Most people do not realize how difficult it is to jump from an aircraft at 25,000 + feet AGL in pitch black night, with 200 pounds of equipment strapped to you, stay formed up with your team in free fall and all land within 100 meters of the designated point on the ground. It isn't skydiving.

HALO, My DD saw a special on the discovery channel and wants to try. I tried free fall in the civilian world and learned I CANNOT fly my body well. I have a pronounced tendency to slowly spin to the right.

I think MedB raises a valid point.
Are you trying to order people to comply with your plan or are you trying to get them co-operating to solve a problem?
There are times where both approaches are valid.
There are also times when one or the other of these approaches just will not help.

The authoritarian approach does work to reduce confusion and situational paralysis, but the consensus approach often gives better actual plans to solve the emergency.

I guess if you are a trained medic/cop/soldier you are going to assume command of an emergency and tell the people around you what to do.
But in some cases you might be better to just help the people to organize their own response because they might know how to use local resources better once they understand which problems they need to solve.

EDIT:
In a lot of cases people are plenty smart enough to solve a problem, but don't have decision making skills because they have been taught all their lives to only do what they are told to do. So they need somebody to do that for them.

It is all in relaxing. Slow spin is very easy to correct.

You must use whatever approach is required for the situation. If everyone is looking to you for guidance, then they are more easily led and do not need much persuasion. Many people will need more persuasion and guidance along the "right" path (the one you want to follow) by involving them in the decision making process and ensuring that their concerns are addressed. That doesn't mean that they will be guiding the process. If you are a good listener and communicator, you will find that people will naturally begin to follow you. You do not need to be the subject matter expert, just the one who can make everyone cooperate with each other for the benefit of the group. A person who talks too much, and doesn't say much, will not have the credibility to lead effectively.

HALO is for normal folk, HANO is hardcore

I have seen that in action, you are hardcore for only a second or two. If you survive the sudden stop, you don't survive the bounce.

That is close, but I still think we are talking about slightly different points.
There is a fundamental difference between leading from higher authority and leading from mutual consent. Unfortunately, as with many things that are deeply and fundamentaly different, the words describing them often sound the same.

I am not saying one is better or worse, just different.
There are times when one system is better than the other, and there are time when the other is better.

Manipulating people into following a preconcieved plan is not actually leading consensually, nor is it co-operation.

It depends on whether or not you are trying to get them to do what you want. Leading by definition is getting people to do what they would not do themselves (usually what you want them to do). I have rarely seen any situation where people agree completely or don't have preconceptions or agendas. It is not a negative thing, it just is. You must be able to discern what their ideas and agendas are and, if possible, work out a solution which satisfies everyone as much as possible. You will never satisfy everyone 100%, and you will have to deal with the fallout of that. You could just go along with the majority, but your interests will likely not be satisfied. I have never seen a true consensual leadership style work. Someone has to coordinate, mediate and keep people informed. Someone must step up or nobody's interests will be satisfied and it will be every man for himself. Leadership does not need to be authoritarian, and planning and discussion should include all the possible information you can digest from all interested parties. you can even vote on the final decision. When it comes time to execute the decision, someone has to lead. Even the most democratic process must have a mediator to keep the discussion on topic and resolve disputes in a less than violent manner.

I have never met a person I didn't learn something from; even if it was how not to do things. There is too much knowledge out there to think one person can come up with all of the answers and be correct all of the time. Once the decision is made though, everyone must pony up or follow their own path.

Sorry, I have carried two SOCOM friends of mine to their graves from no opening. I find little humor in it.

I know that my gallows humor can put some people off; Desperado, I apologize if I offended. I tend towards a wry and cinical sense of humor. I have buried many close friends, carried their bodies off the drop zone or battlefield and at times had to pick up the body parts to carry back. I think psychologists call it a survival mechanism.

My apologies Desperado, no offence was meant. I too have removed friends and parts there of from various places around the world and buried them, it never does get easier.

Well, I didn't mean to over react. I had just finished speaking with one of the guys family when that popped up. My sense of humor is also from the gallows. When I was in nobody wanted to eat around us due to the stories we told at the table. Yeah, I understand the defence mech. I use it too. Sorry

8) Yup...never heard of THAT happening!