Been there done that. Its terrible that almost every department has this same type of thing. It affects good volunteers and pushes them away.

I walked away once and it took a year to turn that pager back on. The only reason was because I realized why we do it. To steal an over used line.. "so others may live" its why we are out when others are hiding, its why we run towards it instead of away from it. We don't do it for us. We do it for them.

Take a deep breath, relax for a few days and get things straight in your head. You'll know when your ready to go back.

- Earp