In general I have to agree with Tom. There are physical and mental aspects to self defense and you need both. I have done both Tae Kwon Do and Hapkido and found the mix to be pretty useful.

Tae Kwon Do is usually taught as a sport and is great for getting you in shape and teaching you that you can take some damage and keep going through the pain. Of course that depends a lot on the instructor and how (and what) you practice. My instructor had a very "practical" mindset and really emphasized the defense aspects as well as the sporting ones. Some of the best defense moves in Tae Kwon Do are not allowed in sparring (imagine that )

Hapkido was an eye opener and it was amazing how easily you can seriously damage people with very little effort (in the moment, learning is a lot of serious sweat and pain). Great for practical defense and scalable from let me help you walk with me to let me leave you lying there in serious pain or worse.

I had the same instructor for both ( 6th degree black belt in these plus judo) and he was very clear on the difference between sport and defense - same skills, different mindset and you have to practice both ways or you just end up annoying your assailant.

- Eric

I've got the gun aspect covered ...
Ohio_hiker said it best, because what I am looking for is "weaponless backup plans".

Thanks to all who provided opinions and sources; now I have some places to begin my quest.

I think it's great that he was able to walk away from two avoidable fights, even if it lost him face. I imagine if he couldn't, someone in his position would be getting into fights all the time. Sooner or later either he'd meet someone who could beat him, or else he'd beat someone else and get into trouble with the courts. (And I'd doubt the courts would smile on a martial arts expert who didn't control themselves.)

One of the benefits of strong self-defence skills is self-confidence, which is part of what enables you to walk away. You feel less need to prove yourself.

My old notes on the subject say Bob Charron. I actually saved my pics & short videos on the subject, see here:

http://www.redsword.com/beadlecave/photos/02_02_18_fiore/

Boy, those videos are small now.

I liked it. It was a lot more thorough than I thought it was going to be. Would have liked to have continued through pole arms.

Hi. First post ever here.

My .02- getting hands on instruction from a teacher is paramount. However, depending on where you live, that might not be feasible. Personally, I find learning from a DVD or book on gross motor skills difficult. So, assuming you have some choices of martial arts schools and self defense programs, I'd recommend to find one that focuses on the defensive and awareness aspect of their system/art based on the nature of your question. Tell the instructor to what purpose you want to use the skills and his/her answers should pretty much tell you if they're a good fit. But buyer beware, schools are a business as well, and some will try to sell you what you want to hear and $300 per week later, you'll find out mmm...not so much. There are some schools that have a variety of styles and systems in one location offering a range of skills. As far as skill sets go: look to Filipino martial arts for weapon/knife based fighting; muay thai or krav for unarmed striking; and bjj for grappling and ground work. Sprinting is a good skill to get distance from an opponent, which is my first tactic.

"If you're in hand to hand range, it's your own fault for not humping enough ammo" - unknown

Hi Dual Primed, welcome.

Running away can be very healthy for you!
Good exercise too.
HO HO HO!

Do you have any Tai-Chi classes near you?
They are basically free, and even if you think it is just exercise for old people Tai-Chi is actually a decent form of martial arts.
You do all the moves, you just do them as slow as possible to get the moves right.
All of the moves in Tai-Chi are striking, blocking and grappling or else they are about stance and balance.
Doing them slow also builds quite a bit of strength.
The slower you go the more physically hard it is.
Then after you have your moves practiced all you have to do is start speeding them up.

If you decide to start with Tai-Chi you will be learning what is the closest style to the old Shaolin Buddhist teachings about pushing hands.
If you ever get to see a Tai-Chi weapons competition you will understand.
http://www.taoist.org/content/standard.asp?

Martial arts is fine, but you want to be ready now- not in ten years after your 2nd level of enlightenment. So for someone seeking to be a harder target fast, I highly recommend the DVDs and classes by a narcotics agent called SouthNarc. His focus is not the fantasy contractor stuff so common today, but the civilian vs. criminal context. His premise is that basically every armed confrontation starts unarmed on the side of the defender. That is why pre-assault clues ("reading" criminals) and tactics as well as basic unarmed defense skills are so important.

Link to a review of his in extremis knife class:
SN Class Review

His website- lots of material there:
Shivworks

This might interest you too as it sorts out priorities in training:
Chris Fry Article

SouthNarc does have some good information. IMO it seems most defensive skills teachers either want to teach empty hand techniques -or- techniques that employ weapons. Few teach both and especially the transition from one to the other. SouthNarc is one of the few that teaches the translation/escalation from empty hand to weapon techniques.