How would I rate against this synopsis?

1. Move inland now. Like at least 50 miles from any ocean, bay or tidal basin.
I'm within crawling distance of the ocean and on a fault line

2. Learn to grow your own food & collect drinking water. Especially water.
I eat out, my fridge is empty, but I have water (I do have my MRE's and 30 day emergency supply of food), I have no ground to grow on

3. Make sure you live in a place where you don't have to drive to work, ever.
I commute 40 miles a day round trip

4. Become Indian or Chinese and/or a member of an international crime cartel.
My wife is Chinese and I'm Amish/Irish- but we both left our communities, so nope,no luck

5. Make sure you have plenty of sunscreen.
Old and runny, like me ex-wife (bitter, too)

6. Don't expect to have much in the way of money, free time or job stability. The "Middle Class" you knew from 1950 to 1980 is never coming back.
That's me! I'm never allowed back?

7. Stop having so many children. They eat too much and use too much fuel.
Whew, 1 out of 8- I'm saved!

8. Avoid turnips.
Do parsnips count? Or mangelwurzels?