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1. Move inland now. Like at least 50 miles from any ocean, bay or tidal basin.
Check - I live hundreds of miles from the ocean.

2. Learn to grow your own food & collect drinking water. Especially water.
Check - And what food I don't grow, I can find at my neighbours! 2nd - it's gotta rain before I can collect water!

3. Make sure you live in a place where you don't have to drive to work, ever.
Check - No problem - my town is small enough to walk.

4. Become Indian or Chinese and/or a member of an international crime cartel.
Check - I got the Asian ancestry down pat. Crime cartel goes against my ethics though!

5. Make sure you have plenty of sunscreen.
Check - I've a got plenty however they tell me that the efficacy of sunscreen degrades over time even when stored in a cool dry place.

6. Don't expect to have much in the way of money, free time or job stability. The "Middle Class" you knew from 1950 to 1980 is never coming back.
Check or should I say CHEQUE - I just got a 8.5% raise on top of the 13% earlier this year and we are extremely short staffed in our department. I'm not going anywhere soon.

7. Stop having so many children. They eat too much and use too much fuel.
Check - I fathered 0 kids as far as I know.

8. Avoid turnips.
Check - They aren't my favourite food, but even worse are yams and sweet potatoes!