Dear Hunters,

As hunting season is upon us, I know that I'm going to be spending X number of hours in the woods or on the water this January with a SAR team looking for a hunter that went missing at about 4:00 PM, and now it's getting dark and he's kind of overweight and wearing blaze orange and oh please hurry it's so cold and he's not really dressed to spend the night outside....

I also know that most of the time, if he's not lost, we'll find the guy dead of a heart attack, sometimes hanging from a tree by a lanyard, sometime crumbled up at the bottom of a tree stand because he fell out after his heart exploded, sometimes at the top of a hill he just climbed. But long-dead is the typical situation by the time we get there.

I don't really mind dragging a body out of the woods as much as you'd think, but I could do without looking at the wives and the sons and the daughters crying on the side of the road as we put the body bag in the coroner's truck.

If the only exercise you get all year long is three weeks in deer season, please take a moment to realistically assess your fitness level before you hike 4 miles in and try to drag a 150 lb deer out.

Please don't split up from your hunting buddies.

Please carry a GPS and know how to use it.

Please leave your cell phones OFF until you NEED them to call for help (if your phone works where you hunt).

Please carry the basic stuff you need and dress to survive the night with a broken ankle when it is 30 degrees (-1 degree C) and sleeting.

But most of all, please take care of your body.

Maybe this year you skip hunting and take a year to get in shape a bit. Maybe this year you walk a bit more all summer long, visit the woods where you plan to hunt when it's the off-season, perhaps - gasp - put a little muscle mass on.

I'll be out there hunting with you and I hope if I bump into you out there we will have a chance to chat about the hunt, the weather, our guns, our lunch, our kids whatever. I'd rather that than our meeting being because the SAR captain told me where they found your body and it's my turn to help carry.

Martin,

Thanks for the reminder. I just e-mailed your words to my dad to include when he's teaching the Hunter Safety course. Hopefully the kids he's teaching will pass it on to their parents and grandparents.

-Blast

The Deadman At Grandview Point by Edward Abbey

Martin,

Good words, I am a road deputy and recently had to go searching through the woods for a lost hunter. I received the call around 2100 (9pm) it was cold (38F) and raining off and on. This one does not end well as most do not. It was not because of his fitness level or physical problems, it was his educational level and common sense. He hunted with a tree stand and used a single point harness to make sure he did not fall. Well he did not fall very far just enough for it to constrict his chest where he could not breathe. My official investigation cause of death was positional asphyxia. My night ended around 0430 cold, wet and letting a wife know that the father of her children would not be coming home. If you hunt with a tree stand use a full harness not just a lanyard around your chest and keep your knife on you just in case, (I would rather have a broken leg from cutting myself free then the alternative). His was in the bag on the ground he just lowered.

So in conclusion practice what you will be doing, learn about safety (the suffocation hazard about those harness have been known and advertised), and use a little common sense (knife on you not in bag). Sorry I will get off my soapbox now. As Martin said I do not mind pulling you out of the woods (in any condition), I just do not like having to explain it to your family in the end.

A VERY BIG "Amen" on having to notify the family. I was stuck with that duty often as a SAR Controller at Group New Orleans. It really SUCKS a big one!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh, and expect to get lost.

I've never understood treestands.
In my deer hunting experience, I never saw one in any trees.

They're so the really big ones can't get you.

You just have to look out for the smart deer with the cherry picker.

Thanks for the reminder Martin.

Applies to anyone that ventures out into the forest/fields/water-ways.

I hope your non-human hunting season is a full and happy one, and you human-hunting season is a bit of a bore.

I saw one in a tree once, it was after the Toutle river flood from St. Helens. It was dead, but it was still kinda weird.