CityBoyGoneCountry,
Bad assumption, Chris specifically said to not name the pirates. . .

Chris,
TJ's has staples, you just need to tweak your definition of staples.
As for the pirates, I've yet to meet one that could resist the urge to pillage a passing defenseless ship of opportunity. This time in the pirate season they are even more opportunistic and cut-throat. One pirate band wants to see a meltdown real soon for opportunistic reasons and the other wants for the meltdown to wait until after November so they can deal with this at a slower more orderly pace -- or not.
Regardless, the meltdown is coming, interesting times, PIRATE DAY or not