Dead tree newspapers are the dinosaurs of the internet age, but they're also dignified and you can carry one in your coat pocket or briefcase and read it even when you don't have wi-fi grin.

But then I'm a fan of lots of things that are old fashioned and slow that you can roll up and swat someone on the nose with.
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A gentleman should always be able to break his fast in the manner of a gentleman where so ever he may find himself.--Good Omens