My earlier post on the other forum got me to thinking, what sort of clown would be the best in a survival situation? I gotta think the worst would either be one of them Killer Clowns from Outer Space, or else maybe a zombie clown.

In fact, for those of you who've been to the circus, what would be the best thing you could have from there in a gen purp survival situation?

I want a good lookin' girl clown, and a trained elephant to ride around on...

That's something I ain't never seen, the clown part anyways.

I gotta think that elephant will drink all your water.

Heck yeah! A trained elephant would come in really handy around the house, but I'd have to go with the sword swallower as my second choice.

Yea, but you could eat for months after the Elephant tried to drink my water.......

"... elephant will drink all your water..."

But then he will "smell" water elsewhere and take us there...

I would like to have the little car that holds 27 clowns. It should hold a lot of supplies.

Sue

My wife got that movie as a gag gift one year....he is clown-a-phobic. Still hasn't watched the movie. I personally love it. I'd take the rifle that encapsulates the target into a balloon. That way when I need to hunt for food I can shoot a moose, tie a string to him and let him float behing me to the slaughter house. Minimal effort, maximum satisfaction.

-Bill Liptak

It is obvious the only correct answer is, of course, the old 'sad hobo' clown.

He is old and sad but he is also quite spry and lively and must be doing something right. Good times and bad the hobo clown lives on the border of town, lives on the fat of the land, does odd jobs as needed, survives ,and with his bindle and stick he gets on down the road. The sad hobo clown is a survivor.

The alien clown is no good. I'm not an alien, illegal or otherwise, so I don't qualify. Ditto with the zombie clown.

The worst clown to survive with would be "Pennywise" from Stephen King's It. That's some scary stuff.

+1 on the sad hobo clown. The performer's name was Emmett Kelly and his character's name was "Weary Willie".

Didn't Judy Garland reprise the Sad Hobo clown a couple times? IIRC, that is also now a drag queen gendre (at least represented as such from the movie "Birdcage").

Similar in some respects to a Red Skelton character.

Pennywise wasn't actually a clown perse, but an illusionary mask of the actual creature IIRC. Still no good.

Has there been a production yet using zombie clowns? I was thinking I had seen or heard some such, but cannot now place my finger on it.

Then there was Pavarotti's (sp) sad clown... I don't reckon he would've been much help in a survival situation either.

Everyone has a place. You could tie Pavarotti to the hood of the truck and use him as a siren. The guy can really project with that set of pipes. Might work as a pretty good PA system also.

In the bright clown outfit I remember him in he could work a flashlight in each hand and substitute for a light bar.

There's also Captain Spaulding, from the Rob Zombie flicks...not a useful clown. His daughter, on the other hand...quite useful

The worst clown would be the one with the supposed bucket of water. You'd run over to the bucket, turn it up to your mouth expecting refreshing lifegiving water and instead you'd get a mouth full of water absorbing confetti.

That or maybe John Wayne Gacy...

Cirque du Soliel clowns would be of no use whatsoever, contorting themselves all over the place

Lets face it, there are no good clowns in any type of situation.

Don't get me started on mimes and invisible 550 paracord...

Thank-you.
I had forgotten Emmett Kelly and his character's names.