Doug,
First, my condolences

RE Living wills, DNRs, healthcare proxies etc

They are state specific, and talk with a lawyer. I've gon through this twice in the last 13 months (Mom then Dad). Got to talk to the Hospic folks (GREAT folks- at least around here)

If you have ANY, and I mean ANY health issues - do yourself a favor. Write down your medical history, plus what drugs and dosages you take, plus any medical care instructions (DNRs, proxies, etc) put them in an envelope, with a BIG label "Name's Healthcare info", put in a ziplock bag, and stick it to the front/side of your REFRIGERATOR where it can be seen

The FDNY/EMS crews say "we find you on the floor, unresponsive, the first place we're going to go is to your refrigerator to look for drugs - insulin etc. We'll see that envelope, and be REALLY happy to have it"

I carried a copy of Dad's medical history, his prescription list, all his MD and insurance info and the like on a small slip of paper in my wallet (in like 3-4 point type), plus a copy on my thumb drive. Over the last 6-8 months of his life, as he shuffled in and out of hospitals, nursing homes, rehab centers, etc, the doctors were all so happy that I could hand them that piece of paper. It took care of the immediate needs, and gave them people/places to contact for the more advanced info (like complete records). I can remember walking into the hospital the first time in the whole chain, and the admitting nurse being so happy to get that paper when she started asking medical history questions

I carry a similar slip for ME, easy to find in my wallet, and one for my wife, and the kids that are burried to they are not confused with mine