true-figuring them out is unattainable. The trick is for the guy to make his way to the edge of the cloud of testosterone in which he exists, and peer out at the rest of the world. Male hormones cause a roaring in the brain that blots out all rational thought until age forty or so. About then, guys discover the mess that they have gotten themselves into by virtue of testosterone intoxication (it's like beer-goggles) and saying "Where am I and how in hell did I get here?". This is called a mid-life crisis. Women know this is going on, and shake their heads, figuring that eventually the guy will reach forty and become tolerable. So, don't try to understand women-we just aren't up to the challenge. Just enjoy them and try not to [censored] them off too much.
Albert Einstein knew lots about the relationship of mass, energy, and the speed of light; he knew little of anything else. Freud suggests that nearly all human activity is the sublimation of the sex drive into other work. If everyone were having as much sex as they wanted, there would be no wars, no Eiffel Tower, no PHRASECENSOREDPOSTERSHOULDKNOWBETTER. National Committee, no General Theory of Relativity. Maybe the divorce caused him to re-route his biological energies into working on physics problems. Answer truly: would you rather spend an hour in rapturous sexual congress with your significant other, or an hour working on mathematical formulas? I rest my case.

Would you rather spend an hour in rapturous sexual congress with your significant other, or an hour working on mathematical formulas?

If life with woman was just that simple, but it’s not. There is a lot of other BS that you have to wade through to get that hour.


The math problem doesn’t need constant attention, I can work on and attend to it as much or as little as I wish. Try that with a woman and get back to us on how well the hour of rapture went…

I am struck by how much male advice versus how little female advice populates this thread.

Two conclusions: the blind appear to continue leading the blind while celebrating their blindness, and women apparently want to remain mysterious contrary to the popular perception that they are always the ones who say, "we need to talk."

Neither conclusion is new to me, but I live in hope - it doesn't cost any extra.

Dweste, I wrote a long response to this thread, but I am not sure if anyone is interested in a long response, so I boiled it down to the 5 main ideas in my post, leaving out the explanations.

If you want to read it, let me know and I will either post it or pm you. I am kind of shy about posting my thoughts on a board like this. Here is what my post boiled down to:

These are some of my thoughts for finding someone who is interested in the things you are interesed in:

1. Try to 'only' hook up with a woman that has interests similar to your own. It will avoid a lot of problems. I agree with folks who said that a person is either interested or not. It is best not to go into a relationship thinking that you are going to change them.

2. Show interest in her and the things she is interested in. Let her talk and be sure to listen to her too! Not just you talk all the time. Many men don't do this. Be sure to follow this one throughout your relationship. Not just at the beginning to impress her.

3. Make sure the woman you hook up with has a pleasant nature and not a contrary one. You will be a happier man.

4. Avoid nit picking, blaming and a superior attitude when you do share your emergency survival stuff with her (and in life in general). These 3 things destroy relationships. Also follow this one throughout your relationship together.

5. You might even give an online dating service a try. It worked for my brother and he is crazy about his new girlfriend. It also worked for one of my daughters. They are now engaged. Both hooked up with the first person they contacted and both found relationships with someone who has the same interests!

I hope that this is helpful!

Joy

Joy, bless you. I would appreciate getting your longer version however you are comfortable sending it.

Thanks.

Finally, an explanation for why my wife and I haven't accomplished anything significant in the last ten years (other than have five children).

A wise woman once said "if it has tires or testicles, you are going to have trouble with it."

My DW couldn't agree more

Mike

I simply cannot agree with any of nursemike's statements about men. Simply stated, I think he is giving men the short shrift and elevating women by puting them on a pedestal. I've never really ever met a woman worth much, relative to other women, that wanted to be put on a pedestal.

I do agree that figuring them out is simply not possible. But that cloud of testosterone stuff seems like, well, stuff that should be composted to be of any good.

Instead of figuring out how there brains work, people should think of members of the opposite sex, and people in general, as if they were machines, and operating the machines was the goal. If pulling a lever makes the machines happy and gets it to want to do what you want, then push that lever. If putting it in a certain position works, then put it in that position. If pushing a buttong works, do that. With people, there is not one button, position, lever, etc. there are many, and all will work at some time or another, so figuring out the right time to push a buttong, pull a lever, etc. is key.

In other words, if making fun of DW gets her to where want the same thign that I want from or for her, then why not do it? If complimenting her works, then do that.

In my case, DW seems to really like the idea that she as a guy who is somewhat prepared for the unexpected and is prepared to act in instances when things occur. As an example, we went by an overturned vehicle recently. It was pouring and it seemed as if the overturned SUV was going a little too fast, hit a puddle, went out of control, crossed a road and turned over into a ditch. I got out, checked on the driver, called 911, etc. (the accident was not a big deal, except to the guy who damaged the SUV, as he was OK). Later that morning, DW gave me some of the great looks a guy gets when his woman is happy with just who he is. For me, I was just doing what I thought was the right thing.

Now as far as trying to get her to be a bit more prepared, I think the incident gave me an opening. She froze when I asked her to do something, then she snapped out of it and helped me. I could tell there was real concern in her, because she does not want to be the person who freezes. So, maybe I have a chance there to get her to work on something.

I think as with anything, the key is to try to get them to want to work on it. Getting a person to do something is not going to be successful, unless you also get them to want to do something.

For a woman who is ok with some and not other outdoor activities, begin with doing the things she likes to do and expand from there.

hmmm, why did you edit that???

No need to explain.

But the same ideas apply to the implied arena as all others. You do what works for the person in question. It's best to have your eyes on the future though, because if you do the same thing all the time, soon it won't work and may be taken for granted.

I like that approach. Sort of an engineer's take on human resource management. BF Skinner did some work in this area back in the sixties, called it behaviorism. Behaviorists dispense with all the psycho-analytic talk therapy stuff and go directly to a stimulus-behavior- positive/negative reinforcement sequence. When applied clinically, instead of delving into the client's feeling about mother, the behaviorists go directly to telling the client, "If you act crazy, we will treat you as a crazy. If you want to live a normal, happy life, don't act crazy". Amazingly effective for some clients. Therapy consists of learning how to budget, manage a checking account, and act the way sane people act.

I conceptualized organizations as machines for a long time-figured if I tinkered with the design enough, I could eventually get it to run perfectly. After a few decades of experience, it became clear that the organization is not a machine, it's a mule: if you kick it, it will kick you back.

A lot of guys have doubts about the testosterone mind cloud explanation-supporters tend to be older guys and females. It explains a lot of behavior, but it is only a theory, with a theory's usual flaws.