Hi. I'm new here, though I've been lurking around and reading. I'm getting into hiking to get back into shape, and fight off my sedentary lifestyle, with an eye toward getting away from my local trails to more open spaces as I get better conditioned. I've learned a lot.

So, although I'm stepping into this thread a few days late, it's really one of the first I've seen that I feel qualified to comment on. :^)

First, on New Yorkers: I've only been to the city on two occasions. The first one was a class trip in '86, the second was doing some sightseeing while visiting my brother, who has defected to New Jersey, in the early to mid '90s. Granted, I didn't cover the whole city, not by a long shot, and mostly touristy areas, but I found the New Yorkers in New York to be far more polite than their counterparts in my home state of Florida, many of whom (though not the majority -- it's the loud ones who stand out) seemed to love to make a point of showing off "NY attitude." I also lived for a year in upstate New York, a whole other animal, indeed. I'd have to rate it one of the friendliest rural communities it's been my pleasure to live in.

On politeness in terms of survival: It can be positive or negative thing. You need to learn basic interpersonal communication skills, and learn to (as much as possible) read a situation for what it is. When I pass anyone on the sidewalk (I walk/bus a lot), I always nod, smile, and say "Hi." Most people respond well to this, though some avoid eye contact on approach. That points out one survival benefit of politeness: If you are a criminal looking for a victim, who are you going to pick? The person who stands up straight, looks you in the eye and greets you, or the hunched over person, less aware of their surroundings, who acts meek? Most will pick the latter. So, basic politeness is GOOD, on many levels, really.

Then again, there's another situation where being too polite doesn't net you anything in terms of survival, and could be detrimental. I think we've all probably been approached in parking lots by either beggars or scammers doing the "gas can shuffle" (Usually use a gas can as a prop, beg for a couple bucks b/c they "ran out of gas.") As a general rule, these types aren't directly confrontational, because it's bad for business. On the other hand, people looking for a victim to rob or car jack may pose as one of these types to get close enough to you to hurt you. Whenever I'm approached by one of these people, I very firmly tell them, "No," and instruct them to "Leave. Now." Just like that, cave man speak, including gestures with my offhand, palm out for no, which most people will read as "stop" and pointing away for "leave" -- even deaf people get the gestures with the right body language behind them. I repeat the second part every time the person attempts to say anything. I do not give them the opportunity to speak. Doing so only leaves yourself open to being distracted.

The actual bums/scammers get the message and may grumble a bit then leave. There may be some of these who aren't rational and might try to get violent, but these are rare and can usually be talked down. Those trying to close distance to do you harm will be informed in no uncertain terms that you aren't a victim, and they should seek easier prey. If they were intent on doing you violence, they would certainly have done so anyway, and you decrease your chances of being a victim. If the person in question wasn't intent on violence, the chances of this response causing escalation are slim.

Of course, there's another situation where you need to walk the line between politeness and survival, and that's when you're confronting multiple people. Someone with two or three friends or more backing them up is far more likely to escalate an encounter if the friends lack the common sense to stop them. Here, discretion is the better part of valor. However, I wouldn't take it too far. Generally showing a willingness to deal with multiple people who are too rowdy/aggressive is unsettling, and you can throw them off their rhythm by acting unexpectedly. Your goal here is the opposite of the above, you want to engage the leader or spokesperson of any aggressive group verbally, because it opens the opportunity to cause a mental disconnect that gives pause. You use that pause to de-escalate the situation. Something as simple as making the leader ask you if you want some trouble, and then answering "No, man, it's cool," and putting out your hand with a positive body language will end a confrontation quicker than it started. Nine times in ten, the person will automatically take a handshake and then you part ways. Of course, you also now have their hand should they get rowdy. I've used the rythm breaking as described here on more occasions than I care to admit, and it's worked for me.

Which brings me to my final bit of advice: Don't believe a darn thing I just typed! You don't know me, or my background, and you most certainly aren't me (about six feet and over two hundred pounds with a military bearing), so how I handle situations may differ. I very much give the impression when I'm interacting with people that I'm law enforcement. That's because I spent the first six years of my adult life as a Military Policeman. So, regard this as food for thought, and do your own interpersonal communication and situational awareness/crime prevention training, it's a very good skill set to have for survival among humans.