I have always liked the part where "...he went down, but to my surprise, he come up with a knife and cut off a piece of my ear..."

Ummm....Perhaps that fact that we have Willow Grove Air Base and they land all sorts of goodies there - including the B1.

My fave - when we go to a restaurant with the kids they ask me "Do you need a highchair?" to which I reply, "No I'm fine, but my daughter could use one."

Hi, I'd like a wopper with cheese, medium fries and a medium coke, to go.

Would you you like to try a wopper?

Yes please, with cheese.

You want cheese on that?

Yes please.

Any fries?

Yes, medium fries please.

Fries, ok, what size?

Medium.

Something to drink?

Yes, a medium coke please.

What size coke?

Medium.

Coke, Sprite or Orange?

Coke please.

For here or to go?

To go.

Ok, that'll be $5.55

I'd like to pay with my credit card.

Ok, debit or credit?

Credit.

Is that for here or to go?

...

I ate there yesterday...

Here is a fun line I use regularly.

My credit card is wearing-out and often requires swiping a couple times before it is read.

After the clerk swipes it once and it does not work I say "that card should work for sure, I just found it". It is funny to watch how long it takes the clerk to realize what I just said.

I find older clerks just laugh it off as a joke, younger clerks often think about it for a moment, then look up at you to see you smiling back at them. Some never get it and just continue to swipe the card?

My teenage kids find it embarassing when I do stuff like this.

Mike