It's a tough thing. When I was young I had made some pretty bad financial choices. Even worse is that it took me way too long to learn my lessons and I continued to make bad choices. 5 years ago I was really hard up and had 1st hand experience with the emotional issues that you are probably going through right now. I guess the only thing I can offer is that if you hang in there you can get past it and and eventually rise to a higher point in your life. You will take some knocks but it is all transitory. It's amazing how quickly those material things you neeeeed to hang onto fade away.
I will actually be debt free next year, for the first time since I was 18, and I plan to have a "My Dad Was Right" party (who had spoken plainly to me about my choices). That day will literally be one of the high points in my life.
While I understand that my choices were my own I agree that the financial system is designed to enslave, and people need to realize that as long as they are indentured they have no true freedom in any aspect.

Very well put Nishnabotna

I really like and will hold a "My Dad Was Right" party, @ the proper time!!!!

I'll put my oar in the water here and agree with statements made. Life can suck real hard at times. However, your general frame of mind appears to be rather good. Depression, gloom, anxiety are all part of the puzzle and process. Recognize them for what they are: emotions that are part of the human condition. There is no shame in feeling them. Do not let them control you, just realize they are there.

I believe your walks in solitude as you search for or exercise the spiritual is a very positive move on your part. Wisdom can come in the silence. Additionally, the service to others you are involved with is great. You are stepping outside your circumstance not allowing it to define who you are. In other words, you are not falling into the "I'm a victim" mentality.

Quite honestly, the fact you posted your situation here shows you have a better grasp on it than you may possibly believe. We are honored that you entrusted us with your concern and allow us to stand by your side in this.

I will add you to my prayer list.

GBU

How is Manteca doing? Last time we were thru there it was growing like a weed...

Many thanks.

I am posting in part to firmly admit reality rather than live on that river in Egypt. It is very tempting to just hope to win the lottery, which would be odd because I never play it, but you know what I mean.

My overall strategy is to keep enlarging my personal context beyond money worries. If one thing has become clear it is I have been in a bit of a rut trying to find a mechanical formula for success, and not growing or spontaneously welcoming life's delightful suprises.

Moving or going out of the country seem scary, so I am going to pay more attention to those possibilities because I am starting to think I give fear too big a place in my life. I started to type the next sentence with the words "I am no hero", looking at them I think that could be or should be a lie. I think that's the start of my next meditation.

Make no mistake, though, opening bills you cannot pay and calling creditors has not made the list of my top ten favorite things to do. In my imaginary boardroom where all aspects of myself have a seat I try to keep courage and playfulness close at hand but those darn cowardice, fear, and helpless guys keep trying to take over the conversation.

It REALLY helps to be able to share this with you folks. I thank every one of you who is willing to help with a thought or good wish.

Report: Manteca and Lathrop just south of Stockton are booming as bedroom communitites for folks who commute to the San Francisco Bay area.

Surviving in Stockton.

Make no mistake, though, opening bills you cannot pay and calling creditors has not made the list of my top ten favorite things to do.





Talking to them may not be fun, but it will probably work.

Talking to creditors is the only thing that is keeping my X-Wife in her home right now (she says) they are making payments, but at a lower lever then before. The creditors have been working with her so far because they talked to them.

Talk to your mortgage holder NOW, and discuss future options, so you will know which way to jump. Sometimes they will let a month or two go, or you might be able to refinance where they do it for 'free' (no upfront money, they just tack it onto the mortgage).

Despite all the loan defaults, there ARE still people who are buying houses. Never let property go to foreclosure if you can possibly sell it. (This seems obvious to me, but has totally escaped people I know.)

Talk to your creditors NOW and tell them you might be running into some financial problems in the near future, and ask if they have any ideas.

NEVER ignore the people to whom you owe money. They hate being ignored and it makes them mean.

Of course, you could probably always get a job working for a collection agency. They're probably very busy these days.

Good luck! I hope things turn out better than you are anticipating.

Sue

Sue

Let me tell you a story about renewal, and maybe you'll see that there's brightness ahead, one way or another.

A long while ago, I had a small business with a partner. We were doing strategic planning for online communications - a business that today is a high-paying field, but in 1990-1991, was totally unneeded as the dot-com stuff was a long way off. I had left a very lucrative career as a television special effects producer to create this business. I lived in a nice apartment in a high-rise in Manhattan. I lived large.
We burned through a lot of money and I got involved with an insane woman and things got bad, then worse and eventually, I lost my apartment, my business, and, due to crazy woman, even my cats.
I found myself living in my grandmother's basement on Long Island, with no car (you have no idea how tough that is on Long Island), tens of thousands in debt, no work and no real prospects.
Somehow, I manged to drag my ass out of bed and to try to do something to get work, to get out of the basement, to get back on track. I lived in that basement for almost three years. I turned 30 in my grandmother's basement, and on my 30th birthday, the IRS delivered a nastygram demanding payment of over $5,000 in taxes and penalties, on a day when I remember vividly I had exactly $24.51 to my name.
Later that same year, my brother got married. I met my wife at that wedding, we will be married 12 happy years this year. She didn't care that I was living in my grandmother's basement, or that I was borrowing my mom's car to come visit her. She only cared that I was always trying to improve things, and I know to this day that if we had ended up living in that same basement, we'd be just as happy together.

And that's what I hope you get out of this tale - trying isn't worse than succeeding, even though that's nice. Failing isn't an ending, it's just a consequence of trying.
Persisting, even as the rules change and your future changes ahead of you, is all that really matters.

Maybe we have all seen the end of the American dream of a house and a car and a nice TV, and now maybe we need to come up with a new idea for what we want and expect vs. what we need. Maybe we all need to lower our expectations a bit and at least meet those .
In the end, this thing that is happening to you is just a thing. It's not you. It's not who you are, it's just a thing that happened. It's happening to others. It's ordinary.

Well put Martin! Hang in there dweste! Things go up and down, but when you keep trying, they eventually work out.

If I were single, I'd jump at the chance to possibly work overseas. I grew up as an Army brat, and really miss some of the places that we've lived. If you ever take this option, you might be surprised how much you like it. I always check Benjammin's sig line to see where he is this year!

Martin,

Would you like a new cat? It LOVES people...

-Blast