Stockton CA is the foreclosure capital of the country. Last stats were 1 of 19 homes in foreclosure and 2 or 3 more of 19 in default. That was a month or two back and its supposedly gotten a bit worse.

My clients / customers are losing jobs, businesses are closing, and collecting for my work is a problem. I have let all my staff go and closed my office to work out of my home. I have not renewed a subscription in a year. Utility use is minmized. I do not eat at restaurants much anymore.

Looks like that may not be enough. There are some bills I have left unopened for a while.

So, I have walked around and said goodbye to all my stuff. Except for the cat and some family momentos I try not to let my stuff own me.

Still a challenge to deal with negative feelings.

I own this problem and will survive however it comes out. I am not asking for financial advice. What I would welcome is some thoughts on positive attitude adjustment.

Thanks.

This is going to sound cold, but I don’t think the government should bail people out of this problem, let market forces handle it. Maybe these people should not have gotten approved for the loans in the first place.

Houses have been over priced for years. Lots of people bought homes with inflated prices. The market is now correcting this, we don’t need the government getting involved and making a bad problem worst. After all, how many times has the government really fixed any money problem? Never


And many people should have not have gotten the loans in the first place, they should have stayed in a rental or kept the old house. My X-wife is a good example; she bought a home with income based on her present husband’s overtime paychecks. Now he’s not working overtime any more. They took a $20,000 income loss with the overtime income gone. It would have been better for them to bank that 20,000 per year (for the 2 ½ years, $50,000) use it for a down payment and buy a home more in line with the pay from a normal 40-hour paycheck. They are having trouble keeping their home.


My brother works for UPS, for the last 3-years he’s been working overtime almost every week. He saved the money, he drove his old car a while longer. He just bought a new travel trailer (paid cash) and is going to buy a new GM HHR and pay for most of it cash. If his overtime income goes away, it’s not going to kill him.


More people need to learn to save and get away from the idea that I need it all right now, even if they don’t have the money, they still want it now and will finance everything.


A good survival thing is to have as much of your things paid for as you can.

My heart goes out to you. If things continue more may be in the same boat.

Here is some hints I can give (that helped me through tough times):

1) Don't compare yourself to others. People will always be better off or worse off. Just deal with your own situation.

2) Take a deep breath in and be in the present. Don't live in the bleak futures you may imagine. Don't look back with regrets on the past (learn from it and move on) Live in the now. Right now you likely aren't in grave danger or starving to death. Practice living in the now at all times.

3) Realize that the entire monetary system is designed to enslave (in my opinion). Even if you do everything right financially remember that the system is designed to make you fall. Don't buy in to the system. There is more debt then can ever be repaid.

4) Realize that it is ok to be upset and that this emotion will pass. Don't feed the depression but don't beat yourself up. Give it some time to adjust.

5) Live like you have a 20% chance of dying tomorrow (not cumulative). If today could be your last day on Earth what would you do, what would you like to see or taste one last time, who would you call? On most people's deathbed the usually don't say" Gee I wish I had another day to work, so I could have a bit of money in the bank account. Or I wish I had been a bit more frugal."

6.5) Don't take things too seriously. Be able to laugh at yourself.

6) Steal some time to find something bigger than yourself. Meditate or if you believe in God talk to him/her/it.

7) Give yourself positive mental statements. Eventually you will start to believe them. This can also be really funny.


I've got faith in humanity. I think we'll shake this creeping evil off. Go easy on yourself.

8) Get lots of sleep!

Speaking of which....

dweste,

PositiveEnergyPositiveEnergyPositiveEnergyPositiveEnergyPositiveEnergy

You are part of the ETS family which means you are stuck with us. Of course, this also means we'll stick by you.

-Blast

Thanks guys.

I really didn't see this coming. I do not have an adjustable rate mortgage and have "owned" the home for going on 12 years.

This is probably going to turn into a down-sizing exercise. I am planning as best I can to simplify and reduce where it makes sense aand to invest more where it could make a difference.

My activiies in the last few months have included increased participation in community and in survival learning through a regional park system that is largely free. I am helping grow a tracking /survival skills club and Yahoo group. I have added walking meditation in reltively wild outdoor locations with an emphasis on relaxed and deep connection to the spritual.

It all helps.

I think this is an opportunity for some re-invention of how I invest my time. Working harder has not turned out to be working smarter.

For all that I think the Creator is gently insisting I learn some lessons. Hope I can let ego go enough to be a good student.

If you have been in the house for 12years it isn't a new home. IF they boot you out the mortgage holders are going to be stuck with an older home in a lousy market.

There is a very good chance if you move out it will remain unoccupied for an extended time and be very subject to deterioration, vandalism and squatters. They could find themselves watching the property plummet in value. Approaching zero if the place goes too far down or burns.

It often makes more sense for the mortgage holder to accept a lesser payment, something the people can afford, just to keep someone in the house and protect their investment.

This may be a good time to renegotiate your payments and rates. While a completely restructured long-term mortgage might serve both sides. But even a temporary respite of six months or a year could also benefit both sides. They could negotiate keeping you in place for six months to a year, protect their investment in hard times, and see if they think they can go for blood in a better market later or with you if your situation turns around.

dweste, that is a hard, hard thing to face. My heart goes out to you. I'm glad you could share it here.

Despite your situation, I think you've done a lot of things right on the personal side. First, you've resolved to survive. Bravo on that - everything else flows from that decision. You've also decided that you have opportunities for personal learning and growth, and that you can add value to the world through community involvement. Bravo again.

I especially appreciate the wisdom of your decision to carry out "walking meditation" and seek peace and focus and a spiritual connection this way. This has seen me through many a dark and stressful time, for I know I will pare life to its essentials and remember who I am at my core. And then, I am a bit more equal to all the petty and pressing details of the outside world. So, bravo three times. You may have lost much, but you have gained much also.

---

FWIW: on the financial side, I think you're only sunk when you stop trying to swim. I suggest you be proactive and do what you can to mitigate the damage to your credit rating. With a deluge like this, I suspect creditors will sort their files into three piles: (1) those who paid in full, (2) those who were sincere and really tried, and (3) those who walked away without a word. If you can't be in the #1 pile, send letters and negotiate percentage payments so you stay in the #2 pile. It may seem futile now, but in the coming years, as you rebuild your credit rating, these actions will tip the balance in your favour. The #3 folks won't get the time of day for a long, long while.

---

Good luck to you!

You're attitude is already pretty positive sounding, all things considered. If you were super perky and jumping about with joy, I'd be worried.

This is a kick in the guts, no doubt about it. So curl around that foot, hang on, and try to tear the sucker's leg off so you can beat him with it.

A few quotes from Rudyard Kipling's "If":

If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same...

Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools...

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it all on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss...


One of the things my dad tells me is that some of the worst things that ever happened to him were actually the best. He was able to take a different path and see later how much less happy he would have been had things worked out the way he wanted at the time.

And in Zen; mistakes, losses and failures are seen only as guides showing what the correct path should be. We need to learn to treat these as neutral lessons. The goal is to simply learn from them and move on. While its natural for there to be anger, frustration and even mild depression, don't take this set back too dearly to heart or focus too much emotion on it.

Perhaps now is time to make a major change in life, if you've considered living somewhere else, or doing a radically different job, now maybe the time to do it. Finally from "Fight Club", "Its only after you've lost everything that you're free to do anything."

If you have marketable skills, and I am guessing you do if you've been running your own business, you might consider working abroad for a bit. By being mobile, you can command a higher premium, and not all areas are hit like where you are presently. Despite what's been going on, there's still tons of work to be had. It is a burden, to be sure, but also a way to effectively neutralize the localized frailities to our economy. Denver's job market for skilled labor is doing really quite well right now.

You've just got to be willing to do something different to change the odds is all. No financial advice, just a good strategy for any career. You use what resources you have and go where the work is. If you have to button up the house for a while, at least you won't lose anything more.

Good luck to you. I'll pray for a good outcome for ya.

It's a tough thing. When I was young I had made some pretty bad financial choices. Even worse is that it took me way too long to learn my lessons and I continued to make bad choices. 5 years ago I was really hard up and had 1st hand experience with the emotional issues that you are probably going through right now. I guess the only thing I can offer is that if you hang in there you can get past it and and eventually rise to a higher point in your life. You will take some knocks but it is all transitory. It's amazing how quickly those material things you neeeeed to hang onto fade away.
I will actually be debt free next year, for the first time since I was 18, and I plan to have a "My Dad Was Right" party (who had spoken plainly to me about my choices). That day will literally be one of the high points in my life.
While I understand that my choices were my own I agree that the financial system is designed to enslave, and people need to realize that as long as they are indentured they have no true freedom in any aspect.

Very well put Nishnabotna

I really like and will hold a "My Dad Was Right" party, @ the proper time!!!!

I'll put my oar in the water here and agree with statements made. Life can suck real hard at times. However, your general frame of mind appears to be rather good. Depression, gloom, anxiety are all part of the puzzle and process. Recognize them for what they are: emotions that are part of the human condition. There is no shame in feeling them. Do not let them control you, just realize they are there.

I believe your walks in solitude as you search for or exercise the spiritual is a very positive move on your part. Wisdom can come in the silence. Additionally, the service to others you are involved with is great. You are stepping outside your circumstance not allowing it to define who you are. In other words, you are not falling into the "I'm a victim" mentality.

Quite honestly, the fact you posted your situation here shows you have a better grasp on it than you may possibly believe. We are honored that you entrusted us with your concern and allow us to stand by your side in this.

I will add you to my prayer list.

GBU

How is Manteca doing? Last time we were thru there it was growing like a weed...

Many thanks.

I am posting in part to firmly admit reality rather than live on that river in Egypt. It is very tempting to just hope to win the lottery, which would be odd because I never play it, but you know what I mean.

My overall strategy is to keep enlarging my personal context beyond money worries. If one thing has become clear it is I have been in a bit of a rut trying to find a mechanical formula for success, and not growing or spontaneously welcoming life's delightful suprises.

Moving or going out of the country seem scary, so I am going to pay more attention to those possibilities because I am starting to think I give fear too big a place in my life. I started to type the next sentence with the words "I am no hero", looking at them I think that could be or should be a lie. I think that's the start of my next meditation.

Make no mistake, though, opening bills you cannot pay and calling creditors has not made the list of my top ten favorite things to do. In my imaginary boardroom where all aspects of myself have a seat I try to keep courage and playfulness close at hand but those darn cowardice, fear, and helpless guys keep trying to take over the conversation.

It REALLY helps to be able to share this with you folks. I thank every one of you who is willing to help with a thought or good wish.

Report: Manteca and Lathrop just south of Stockton are booming as bedroom communitites for folks who commute to the San Francisco Bay area.

Surviving in Stockton.

Make no mistake, though, opening bills you cannot pay and calling creditors has not made the list of my top ten favorite things to do.





Talking to them may not be fun, but it will probably work.

Talking to creditors is the only thing that is keeping my X-Wife in her home right now (she says) they are making payments, but at a lower lever then before. The creditors have been working with her so far because they talked to them.

Talk to your mortgage holder NOW, and discuss future options, so you will know which way to jump. Sometimes they will let a month or two go, or you might be able to refinance where they do it for 'free' (no upfront money, they just tack it onto the mortgage).

Despite all the loan defaults, there ARE still people who are buying houses. Never let property go to foreclosure if you can possibly sell it. (This seems obvious to me, but has totally escaped people I know.)

Talk to your creditors NOW and tell them you might be running into some financial problems in the near future, and ask if they have any ideas.

NEVER ignore the people to whom you owe money. They hate being ignored and it makes them mean.

Of course, you could probably always get a job working for a collection agency. They're probably very busy these days.

Good luck! I hope things turn out better than you are anticipating.

Sue

Sue

Let me tell you a story about renewal, and maybe you'll see that there's brightness ahead, one way or another.

A long while ago, I had a small business with a partner. We were doing strategic planning for online communications - a business that today is a high-paying field, but in 1990-1991, was totally unneeded as the dot-com stuff was a long way off. I had left a very lucrative career as a television special effects producer to create this business. I lived in a nice apartment in a high-rise in Manhattan. I lived large.
We burned through a lot of money and I got involved with an insane woman and things got bad, then worse and eventually, I lost my apartment, my business, and, due to crazy woman, even my cats.
I found myself living in my grandmother's basement on Long Island, with no car (you have no idea how tough that is on Long Island), tens of thousands in debt, no work and no real prospects.
Somehow, I manged to drag my ass out of bed and to try to do something to get work, to get out of the basement, to get back on track. I lived in that basement for almost three years. I turned 30 in my grandmother's basement, and on my 30th birthday, the IRS delivered a nastygram demanding payment of over $5,000 in taxes and penalties, on a day when I remember vividly I had exactly $24.51 to my name.
Later that same year, my brother got married. I met my wife at that wedding, we will be married 12 happy years this year. She didn't care that I was living in my grandmother's basement, or that I was borrowing my mom's car to come visit her. She only cared that I was always trying to improve things, and I know to this day that if we had ended up living in that same basement, we'd be just as happy together.

And that's what I hope you get out of this tale - trying isn't worse than succeeding, even though that's nice. Failing isn't an ending, it's just a consequence of trying.
Persisting, even as the rules change and your future changes ahead of you, is all that really matters.

Maybe we have all seen the end of the American dream of a house and a car and a nice TV, and now maybe we need to come up with a new idea for what we want and expect vs. what we need. Maybe we all need to lower our expectations a bit and at least meet those .
In the end, this thing that is happening to you is just a thing. It's not you. It's not who you are, it's just a thing that happened. It's happening to others. It's ordinary.

Well put Martin! Hang in there dweste! Things go up and down, but when you keep trying, they eventually work out.

If I were single, I'd jump at the chance to possibly work overseas. I grew up as an Army brat, and really miss some of the places that we've lived. If you ever take this option, you might be surprised how much you like it. I always check Benjammin's sig line to see where he is this year!

Martin,

Would you like a new cat? It LOVES people...

-Blast

I feel for ya, I have ben laid off for several months now. My only saving grace has been that all of my stuff and vehicles are paid off, but now my savings has reached the point that I can make one trip to Micky D's.

Umm....not to derail this, but if you think McD's is in any way a food product to eat while on a budget - it's not. Not at all. It's expensive in many ways - not just health.

I never go to Miky D's, I just used it as an example to illustrate the state of my savings.

During the day I can keep scrambling. I am occupied with this and that trying to keep working to have some cash flow - been going okay.

Nights have been tougher. Me, the cat, a folding table covered with bills - some getting paid, some not.

Most of the time I embrace the situation. I can even find humor comparing my sometimes gross and today's net; what magic trick did I do to disappear that money?

Of course I know what went where pretty much to the penny.

I am getting better at dealing with creditors. I am a creditor, too, and not getting people to pay me does not make my day.

But what I am posting about today is how to deal with shame, because shame has proved a tough opponent.

Everyday I forgive my past self because I know he did the best he could, but I am having to forgive myself often. Keeping my head up to look the situation square in the eye is taking energy.

Thoughts?

Thanks.

Feeling the shame is not a real problem.

Not feeling it is.

The cat still thinks you're a great guy, doesn't he? Cats know.

Sue

I agree with Sue,,,again.

Consider this: when anyone enters into business, he/she accepts a certain amount of risk for a potential reward. That's the game of business. So if you're dealing with businessmen/businesswomen, who are all operating under the same rules, there's no reason to feel guilty or ashamed; they all accept a degree of risk as standard operating practice.

This assumes, of course, that you've conducted your business in a fair and ethical matter.

Employees, of course, operate under a different "contract," with much less risk and reward. So, I hope you've been able to do well by your staff.

I've lost some money when small businesses went under. That's part of the game, I guess; and when those people call me later and settle for a percentage (as has happened) I respect them for their efforts. Sure, they'll be in the doghouse for a while; but I'll talk to them in the future.

- - -

As to "shame" ... perhaps it's not my place to comment, and apologies if this crosses into politics ... but it seems to me that in this subprime business, somebody has made off with a trillion dollars and left ordinary folks holding the bag ... so if anybody should feel shame, and jail time too, it's the prime culprit(s) ... (that's just my take, FWIW)

Well, here's my take on this.

Don't confuse disappointment with shame. I think you're willing to share your situation here, and that's a sure sign that there's nothing to be ashamed of. I'd suggest that you be thankful that there's an out for you, and not a debtor's prison. We have a system that recognizes the need to allow for failings, and provides a level of protection for you. It's so common we have special courts and laws to deal with it. Yours is not a unique situation by any stretch, so hold your head up, look people square in the eye and tell the truth. Things didn't work out so well this time. There's a mess to be cleaned up and it's going to take some time, but it won't be forever, and the next thing is going to be different.

No regrets, just lessons to learn.

I can understand feeling bad about not being able to live up to your finacial commitments, but there is no shame because you have fallen on hard times regardless of what some creditors will have you believe. You are still making the attempt and working to try and fufill your obligations in an age where many people are taking the easy way out by declaring bankrupcy, or just skipping. It's gonna suck regardless of what you do until buisness picks up, just try no to let the presure get to you. and if all else fails you can always turn to us for moral support.

There is no more need to be ashamed of this than there is getting sick.

This is something you can beat. You just need to not only say that you will, but KNOW that you will. You are a creditor- that means you know how the machine works. Use that knowledge, and don't give up.

Well. now I am being sued by a creditor. So much for working out payments.

And I just got formal notice of foreclosure unless I can get even by early July. So much for negotiating an extended time to pay, temporary payment hiatus, or lower payment or interest rate.

Okay, that's their move. Now I have to consider mine.

I guess I shoud talk to a bankruptcy lawyer to see what options are available, and what happens if I just let everything go without any legal response.

I'm shaking off the negatives, but it is getting harder to do and I'm having to do it more often. Maybe I'll go see a counselor, too, for some ideas about how to handle, or let go, the stress, worry, anger, shame, etc.

It is just business, I guess.

Thanks for your encouraging words.

Worst thing to do is nothing. See someone that can give you ideas on your options, and call up a friend to talk.

To give yourself a little breathing room, you can self-initiate a bankruptcy filing, preferably a chapter 13. This provides an automatic stay against all legal actions by creditors until a bankruptcy hearing has occurred. I think you then have up to 90 days to come up with a solution, or develop the chapter 13 to fruition. Even if you don't get a suitable filing developed and it gets rejected, you can refile and get another 90 day stay. Twice around the block is all I'd recommend, but you should be able to figure something out with an additional 6 months to work with.

It is a tough pill to swallow, and bankruptcies are not so easy to obtain these days as they were a decade ago. Even though you are broke, you should still seek professional legal advice.

Finding courage

My situation is challenging my ability to summon courage, especially for the repetitive small tasks like opening letters from creditors I cannot pay, calling tax authorities I cannot pay, etc..

I feel like I am being slowly ground down. Surely this cannot be an unusual human challenge in survival situations.

What are some of the practices known to be helpful when the very real wolf is at the door, over and over again?

Thanks.

I've represented people suing others for collection and all kinds of matters. Most lawyers and clients who are looking to recover money don't ever think they are going to recover 100%, especially when you are dealing with businesses seeking to collect bills.

Filing suit is one of the things they can do. If you are considering bankruptcy, tehn telling the creditors that is one thing that may lead them to accept a lower amount.

Don't forget how to tell if a collector is lying: If his mouth is moving, he's lying. Get it in writing!

And don't ever give them electronic access to you bank account - They've been known to tell you they are going to withdraw the agreed amount and then "accidentally" clean you out. Naturally, it takes a few weeks/months/year to correct these types of mistakes.

Many garage sales in my short term future. Told the cat he is probably going to be adopted. Shrink says situational depression is pretty normal and will be temporary. Focusing like heck on the endless possibilities opened up by starting over.

I don't believe that is a good idea. I would rather pick fruit with people who don't speak English than work for a collection agency.

Jeanette Isabelle

I think you can ship the cat to Blast. I;m sure he wouldn't mind taking care of it until you are back on your feet.

Even though I am not a cat fan, having a pet around may help you a little bit. If you can afford the food and hygiene requirements maybe you can keep the critter. I hope you can.

dweste,
I wish i was in my new place right now because I would be willing to foster your cat until you can get back on your feet again..
then again your shrink might be willing to write you a prescription for the cat as a "companion animal". So if you do move somewhere that doesn't allow animals they will *have* to allow it due to ADA regs.

Thanks re the cat. I must think of him now as just another animal, with whatever feelings I have as mostly projection. He will land on his feet and charm a new person into giving him the food, shelter, and companionship to which he has become accustomed. Anything else too hard.

As someone who has lived in rags and riches, I feel I am qualified to address this. The hard part is putting it in the right words. There is a difference between being broke and living with a poverty mindset. Being broke simply means you have no money. It alone does not change a person's way of thinking. I would say I probably handled myself well when the chips were down and I have seen others who have conducted themselves like upstanding citizens even when popular opinion says the poor should live like white trash. It takes a disciplined mindset to look rich even when you're not and I don't mean living beyond ones means. People like that have a shine on their shoes, their hair in place and, if they have a car, it does not look like a trashcan on wheels. It is that kind of people, not the ones who wallow in poverty, who manage to get back up.

Jeanette Isabelle

Thanks, coach. It is going to be a challenging transition, but I am ready to play!

We got to see a forclosed house yesterday, two of them actually. Realtor opened the door and walked in the first one and before I stepped in the door I said "look al the mold" and then she noticed the mold everywhere. I could see a collasped ceiling in one of the back rooms, my guess is someone turned the water on upstairs before they left and just let it flood.
Second one was nice and didn't need much work but there were already bids on it so we passed.

Sold the boat with lots of gear to a young family guy just out of the military; gave him one heck of a deal. Freed up room to maneuver in the garage. The seller's remorse is just going to have to take a back set to current needs and reality.

Sold the cast aluminum lawn furniture to my new next-door neighbors. They are very nice and I am glad they will enjoy the furniture. Another great deal on some quality stuff.

Sold a bunch of yard tools to my brother.

Now I need to sell a bunch of mostly teak home and office furnishings.

I forsee a massive load for Goodwill.

Now I need to fully equip my vehicle for "car camping," in case I cannot find a new place to hang my hat soon.

So, progress - or a least movement.

"...to fully equip my vehicle for "car camping..."

I don't know what you drive, but if it is capable of pulling a small trailer, you can find some outstanding deals on used travel trailers in the 16-20 ft range. Lot more comfortable than sleeping in the backseat of a VW bug, and you won't have to pack a stove, water, etc, etc etc, that will all be built in...

New plan and choices:

Plan A, I have a friend buying a large 2-story house with one bedroom and a full bath on the ground floor that I can rent.

Plan B, I have a line on an older, very inexpensive, trailerable MacGregor 25 sailboat that would make a barebones liveabord - if it passes a marine survey and ownership record check.

The bank visited today just to see if the house remains occupied, and I am waiting a callback from the IRS. I have found very part-time employment and am volunteering at a local golf course as an "ambassador." Many job applications are in.

In my spare time I am looking at prospects in Oregon, Washington, Idaho, Colorado, and Texas.

Attitude adjustment is a constant challenge; it's good to have friends.

It remains almost certain that the cat will have to train a new owner.

The boat sounds intersting. I assume that you would park it on the delta somewhere. Got any idea where, and and at what cost? You ever plan on actually sailing it around, or just park it and live on board?

Keep up the positive attitude, you are not alone...

I am still checking marinas that allow liveabords. Looks like baot slip and place to store the boat trailer will run around $200 per month.

Yes, I will definitely sail the boat. I will also trailer the boat to some local lakes.

Thanks for the inquiry.

Take a look at this site

http://www.cheaprvliving.com/

I think the boat could provide you with a decent shelter and a place to keep a lot fo your things. Not a bad idea, and I do note you have a had one. But when you put it someplace, think about the facilities for hygeine too. I think being able to get to some facilities would be key, so you need not pump out your tanks too often.

Hang in there.

Move out; or into only part of your house and rent out the rest. I knew a girl who kept her house by partitioning part of the lounge in her one bedroom apartment, so it became her bedroom.

When I told the mortgage company I had rented out my house and they said it was against the terms of my mortgage. I asked them to forclose. They never mentioned it again. But it would have been simpler to not tell them
The Sock

There used to be a CHP resident post in the delta, officer lived on his boat, black and white parked nearby...

A positive note: a colleague and former student has agreed to a provide me with an office in exchange for a certain number of hours of work on his files - starting tomorrow! It feels like a start, a foothold to begin building a new future.

Nothing to say, dweste, but wishing you good luck and that my thoughts and prayers are with you.

Jeff

Congrats on the positive note update, and on the positive thinking. Whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger right

What do you do?
Could you do any consulting online or write any how-to manuals?


-Todd

Thanks.

PM sent.

That's great news! Sometimes, all you need is a toehold, and then you can boost yourself up.

How's your cat?

Sue

I worry about the cat. He is not going to understand or enjoy the inevitable transition.

I don't think I am going to be able to take him with me. My next places to stay are not likely to be cat-friendly.

He is an indoor-outdoor cat used to roaming. He apparently has this neighborhood figured out, but a new spot would feature new hazards he might not be prepared to survive.

I think for his sake I need to get him adopted by someone who is a homeowner.

Nice to here a positive note best to ya!.

Lee

There ya go!!!

Thanks for sharing your story, dweste, and good luck with your fresh start.

Good deal dweste.

I'm wishing the best for you, and want to thank you for sharing what's going on with you (man, that sounded like a therapy group I was in once).

In reading your posts and the responses of others, I re-evaluate my family's preparedness level and learn from you - thanks.

There are probably folks not part of the ETS community that lurk through that may be going through something similar and are learning from you as well.

dweste, my heart goes out to you, as it seems does everyone else's.

Two sayings I always keep in mind, one you surely know and the other you might not:

• Fortune is a wheel that turns in the world.
• There, but for the grace of God, go I.

Nice thing is that you don't even have to be religious to draw strength from them. Don't know why they work but they do for me.

You guys are helping me keep going, thanks.

My brother loaned me his pickup for a while. I am going to measure the office to see what will fit, and start moving in.

I am going to see if the local WEAVE [women's shelter] could accept the donation of most of the rest of my furniture and household stuff, now that the local Hospice decided they could not.

Still don't know where I am going to live, but one step at a time.

As I go through what can go to the office, what I intend to take to wherever I am going to live, what I want to donate, and what I am willing to abandon, I notice my stuff is trying to own me.

I keep asking myself, "Do I really need this?" Yeah, I might need it in the future, it might be nice to have, etc. but do I want to pay storage to keep it somewhere? Do I want it just because it is mine and I don't want anyone else to have it for free?

I'm trying to avoid storing anything. If it can't fit in the office and I cannot see it on a sailboat / car camping, then I am trying to let it go. It is amazing to see how little I really need using that criteria.

And it's at least as amazing to see how my instinct is to be greedy, to keep stuff just because.

I recently married and we are merging our "stuff." I have needed to get rid of things I accumulated over a 28 yr. career in the Air Force and am working on that now. Some things are easy to get rid of, others not so much, and then there are the "I can't get rid of that!" items. Logic and emotions are hard to separate during these times. My best in your quest.

The weekend was a disaster. Lots of packing but no moving; neither of my weekend helpers were able to help. Lots of emails and phone calls but nothing sold. No one from the Women's Center called or showed up to take stuff. The one important meeting to delegate a problem didn't happen. So much for best laid plans. Lots of time invested with little to show for it.

Plan B: board the cat for a week prepaid; move minimal business furniture, computers, and records to office; try to find last minute storage space; abandon much more than planned; hope furniture buyer shows up; more packing; and too much etcetera.

The foreclosure sale is tomorrow. What, me panic?

Hot dogs, cheese, and Diet Pepsi for breakfast at 0530.

It's a great day to be alive. I can't wait to see how all this plays out; it will be a funny story someday.

Sounds like my move. Out closing date was rescheduled several times then finally they called and said our byers paperwork finally went through and we close tomorrow. We lost all our help and managed to get one person to help load and unload Thursday then helo Load friday, we made three trips, Thursday, friday and Saturday, my wife and I and the on helper for part of them and out 2 year old and 8 month old. We did this while closing on the house we were selling on Thursday afternoon and closing on the house we were buying on Friday afternoon, I would park the U haul in a big store paring lot then get in my wife's car and we would go to the closing then come back and drive the uhaul the rest of the way. Filled their biggest trailer three times and my truck. That was a month ago and we still have boxes we haven;t unpacked yet.

Jumping everywhere, accomplishing a fair amount, fretting some. Cat safely boarded for a week at the vet's. Found a storage space. Packed but moved nothing. Finally sold some furniture. The house feels strange. I think I will take myself out to dinner.

Now is when you get to test living from your BOB. I had packed most of our stuff when our closing got pushed back so everything I needed came from my BOB, made a good practice session for a couple weeks.

Signing off for the move.

Good Luck, Brother!!!!

I have not had time to get through the whole thread but if you are trying to get rid of items and not worried about selling them or getting a tax receipt then you should check out Freecycle if you have email.

http://www.freecycle.org/

On my last move I had a number of items that charities were supposed to pick up but they never showed. 24 hours posted on Freecycle and everything was picked up.

Take care.

Good luck, dweste! I hope for the best outcome for you.

Still in the house and doing the pack/sell/donate thing; not sure why I have not been asked to leave. Between the need to unload stuff to move and the plan to move onto a sailboat, it is amazing how little of my "precious" stuff seemes to matter.

from experience, don't rush them. it's a process. at some point a real estate agent or bank representative may come by and offer you "cash for keys." you give them the keys, they give you cash. and maybe some time to leave.

nothing is forever. your situation will change.

but i don't think you'll ever look at possessions in the same way again. i know, after living aboard a sailboat for two years, i don't.

Having been there done that (my ex probably had a great bonfire after I was gone), all you need to do is keep in mind that stuff is just stuff. It can be replace, or just done without...

You have my condolences, I lost my job in July. This downsizing thing seems to be catching on. Well at 49, not a lot of folks are interested in hiring you. I have not been feeling sorry for myself, I have put out over 300 resumes, no interviews have occured yet.
I have watched a lot of other folks lose their jobs and have economic setbacks this year. Housing is going down, foreclosures are going up, things are not really looking too promising for the short term.
I am confidant that things will improve, and we will learn to adapt and overcome our hardships...

IM SORRY to here about your troubles.i look at it this way .i just bought 30 acers,built a new house.in det more than ever .BUT i didnt want to get old an say wished i would have.now i can say i did , if i loose it than i tried my best an it wasnt ment to be.to behonest i think me an wife n kids were happer in a older double wide that was paid for .we didnt have anything but each other .youll see all this crap we work for doesnt mean near as much as just plain ol happiness.i dont pray like i should but it does work .try it he can liten the load . hang in ther man

Thanks, guys.

Funny thing: a friend in the industry checked today and there has been no change in title - I still own the house even though the sale was supposedly last week.

I have been going through stuff this week and throwing away a lot of stuff that I now have no idea why I saved it.

You are right, it’s just stuff.

for the most accurate up-to-the-minute info you need to physically go to the county recorders office. they are current.

your county may have that data online. each county is different.

all other providers get their data from the recorders office. it depends on how often the providers download their data from the recorders office.

our provider runs about 7 - 10 days behind.

and don't forget the "cash for keys" thing i mentioned.

Many of these posts are inspiring, evidence that most of us have been through difficult times yet were able to rise above our trials and tribulations. This is an ode to the human spirit.

I have personally noticed that right after my most difficult periods - some of which seemed impossible to overcome when I was smack dab in the middle of them - I always enter into a life that is even better than before.

Without having to face problems I would have been stuck, comfortably numb, without growing as a human being.

Sometimes not getting what you want is a wonderful stroke of luck. I think the Dali Lama said that.

Supposed to be out Monday. Think I found a room. No place for the cat.

If we were nearby we would be glad to catsit for you, but alas, we are not...

yea, I am moving sometime this week and alas my new place doesn't allow animals.. otherwise i'd catsit

kat