While hunting (camping with guns) one time I found that...

Canola oil is NOT a substitute for margarine or butter for boxed mac and cheese. Many Little Debbie (TM) cakes were consumed afterwards to get rid of the after-taste.

and

MRE applesauce, hot sauce, and Ramen (TM) noodles do NOT make a good, or even lousy, "sweet and sour" meal.

Anyone else?

I found out while camping once; that a big rock does not substitute for a mallet when driving in a tent peg, it makes you do the "crouch-hop" while holding on to your throbbing thumb and swearing!

Mike

... or that the size and quantity of knots in wood being split is inversly proportional to the size of the axe.

I just read about the "crouch-hop" last night....

My all-time favorite though is the "Full-Bore Linear Panic" with "Modified Stationary Panic" a close second......

That walking halfway up a mountain, in New Hampshire, near the end of November, and realizing that I did not want to continue drinking beer because I might need to wake up and pee in the middle of a snowstorm, did not make for a fun weekend. I had to wake up anyway but just kneeled at the tent opening.

Not my idea of fun. Put me on a boat in warm weather, and my attitude changes.

I found out that if the group of wild pigs in front of you don't run when you yell it's because another group of pigs is sneaking up behind you.

-Blast

"The Purist" and a "Dog for all Seasons" are towards the top of my list.

Really just about any McManus is worth a read. He who has never done the "Crouch-Hop" has never lived.

<<That walking halfway up a mountain, in New Hampshire, near the end of November, and realizing that I did not want to continue drinking beer because I might need to wake up and pee in the middle of a snowstorm, did not make for a fun weekend. I had to wake up anyway but just kneeled at the tent opening. >>

That drink and camping DO NOT mix. Unless you are on a campsite slipping and breaking a leg can be fatal.
The Sock

I found that MRE chicken ala king (aka "chicken rodney king") glows pretty florescent colors under red-filtered light.

Also, the bits of chicken in a cup-o-soup have the same taste and texture as the moth that was attracted to your flashlight and fell into your soup.

It was at a campsite with my friends from college, not far from a highway and nearby ski area. However, we could not do much drinking for fear of the cold and because we had to carry all the beer in.

I think I just learned I am not a big fan of going camping, esp. in winter. If you want me to rough it, put me on a stripped out boat. I will happily agree to sleep in a pipe berth, so long as it is without a large drip above it. Roughing it on land for me is a limited time matter, limited to hours. I'll spend all day in the woods, build a fire, cook on it, but when it is time to sleep I want a bed.

That fir tree pitch may be great for firestarting, but is a real hassle when you get too much on your hands and clothing.

Benjammin, apply anything powdery to the pitch on your hands, flour, baby powder, dust. Use the clothes as tinder, burns great.

Sue

Oh yes, works great when I am making dinner and the rolls taste like pitch. It also helps when handling them hot pots, kinda like callouses then.

As for the clothes, don't you know petroleum products are far superior at making my breeches like kindling?

ONE poncho, to act as a ground cloth, cover my pack at night and wear to keep the rain off means moving really fast when getting ready...

I learned to always look into what I'm drinking before taking a drink outdoors. I nearly swallowed a HUGE hairy spider that was floating on top of my beer. A friend of mine was bitten on the lip by a bee that had crawled into his soda. His lips swelled up to cartoonish proportions. We had some great laughs at his expense.

Another thing I've learned: rain fly's dont keep out the rain when it's coming at you horizontally.

I learned that leaving the anchor down makes going full speed in a boat more difficult....until the motor cuts the anchor rope.

That Jiffy Pop popcorn does not do well on a campfire, that the smell of burned popcorc will run all the wild life in the area away, that you can't get it out of your clothes, and that I really hate the smell of burned popcorn.

The "Ten Essentials" should really be the "Eleven Essentials" (toilet paper).

The one time you forget insect repellant is the time you will be attacked by a mosquito cloud of biblical proportions.

Patrick