Oven bags instead of condoms. I guess if your into hot sex ...

Condoms for water storage is IMHO an anachronism. Latex condoms are notoriously subject to UV degradation and puncture. Once filled they pretty much have to be carried by hand and they neither stand up nor stay open on their own. And, even in the Holmsian sizes, they don't carry much water.

IMO Platypus bags or Camelback bladders are much more useful. I always likes the USGI two-quart collapsible canteen. Very handy those. But I haven't seen one for sale in quite some time.

As far as oven bags go I have seen someone boil water in one. Trick is to form a hoop holding the rim and to keep the fire compact and the bag full. Seemed mighty subject to catastrophic failure but I think with practice it might not be too bad.

I'm just klutzy enough, IMO everyone is when your cold, tired hungry and worried, that I think I will stick to a can or pot.

Oven bags have been advocated as an aid to escaping a fire. A large one over the head and sealed at the bottom gives you several minutes of breathable air and decent visibility in a heat resistant package. Beats breathing toxic fumes and collapsing half-way to the door. I have seen it recommended for people on commercial airliners.