Blitz,
Having spent years in the great white norths of Minnesota, South Dakota and New York trust me when I say I understand what you are going through. it definately sucks to be you.
Now, if I were a bad man I'd direct you to my tales of paddling around in Texas
here.
And if I were a truely evil person I'd point out that all those places on my blog where I talk about paddling are within 90 minutes minutes of my house, with most under 60 minutes.
And if I were the devil incarnate I'd mention that I can paddle them year 'round...
Have a good winter.
-Blast
p.s. Oh on adopting you. That'd only work if you were a 10 month old Chinese baby. Sorry.