Awww Blast, I feel your pain. Now here's what you do...

"Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea." -- Robert Heinlein

Yep, wife and I just celebrated our 19th last night. Brought home a bouquet of roses in one of her favorite colors (a surprise), and then took her to dinner and got her favorite (seared Ahi Tuna Mignon). Her birthday is tomorrow, so I am sending her to see her daughters in Spokane, then to visit with friends in Denver.

Here's the rules I follow: Give her whatever she asks for. Be willing to spend money on her anytime, for any reason, or for no reason. Make her more important than anything else in the world. Don't criticize her. Let her win any debate (we don't argue about anything, if we disagree, then I give in). Demonstrate my attraction for her anytime we are together. Give her her space.

Roy Rogers and Dale Evans had the right formula. They said that a successful marriage is an 80/20 relationship. You give 80% and get 20% back. Don't look for equity, you will never find it. Also, marriage is a one way path; once you start down it you should never turn back. A lot of folks these days seem to think that it is okay when things don't go your way or they are unhappy with the choice they made to just quit and start over. Well, that sort of thinking doesn't work, and it's persistance is going to wreck this civilization quicker than any terrorist action, if it hasn't already. I can think of damned few reasons where divorce is truly justified, and even then it's because one or both sides would rather quit than work to get past whatever problem exists.

In any case, it may not be that all women act emotionally and mildly hysterically in the face of every emergency. But I can say that, without exception, every woman I ever knew will do it sooner or later, and with enough frequency that a guy is better off just learning and accepting that his first response needs to be to acknowledge the woman's emontional needs before taking one more step, lest he walk into the minefield unaware.

Wise words, You should change your title from poo bah to wise one!

Thank you, Wolf. Then it wasn't just me. "What? What? Maybe he left out something...?"

A friend of mine said she calls *our* reaction to Blast's tale "Oldest Child Syndrome". The oldest child is always put in the position of babysitter/good example, so we just get into the habit of mopping up the blood and putting a bandaid on the owie.

My middle sister faints. My youngest sister whines and waits for someone else to fix it.

Sue

I can concur with that assessment. Being married to the baby of the family, I've come to realize she is higher maintenance than any of her older sisters. Not bad, just more expensive.

I have often listened to some tale of woe about some situation or the other and have paused, then asked, "Do you want me to try to fix this or just listen?"

12 years married...no problems.

Tell her it's a Man Thing.

SEE problem.
KILL problem.
Beat chest....:)

Men's Rules An imagination is a terrible thing to waste!
Whirling Sue

We always hear "the rules" from the female side.
Now here are the rules from the male side.
These are MEN'S rules!
And please note ... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl.
If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not considered by us to be opportunities to see if we can find the perfect present . . ..again!

1. Sometimes we are not thinking about you.
Live with it.

1. Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Don't cut your hair. Ever.
Long hair is always more attractive than short hair.
One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is that married women always cut their hair, and by then you're stuck with her.

1. Ask for what you want.
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. We don't remember dates. . . .Period!!

1. Most guys own three pairs of shoes -- tops.
What makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress?

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it.
That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem.
See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.
We've been tricked before!!

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. Let us ogle. We are going to look anyway; it's genetic.

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we.

1. The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we were going out.
Get over it.
And quit whining to your girlfriends.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color.
Pumpkin is also a fruit.
We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
We do that.

1. We are not mind readers and we never will be.
Our lack of mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.

1. Foreign films are best left to foreigners.
(Unless it's Bruce Lee or some war flick where it doesn't really matter what they're saying anyway.)

1. BEER is as exciting for us as handbags are for you.

1. Thank you for reading this;
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know, it's like camping.

1. Toilet seats. Nothing is funnier than a sleepy guy lifing both the lid AND the seat and sitting down on the cold porcelain.

1. Long hair. Women who have to take care of a man don't have time to take care of long hair. It's one or the other.

1. Birthdays, anniversaries, Valentine's Day. They are tests to see if you can remember ANYTHING that doesn't involve sports, cars or breasts. You have failed to recognize your own mother!

1. If it was sports just on Sunday, we wouldn't mind. It's all those sports on the other days that follow it.

1. Sometimes we're not thinking about you, either. Or listening. It's an act. We're just better at it than you are.

1. Anything you said 7 days ago is null and void? You don't even remember what you said 7 minutes ago!

1. Christopher Columbus was looking for India when he ran into San Salvador... on the third try.

1. You can recognize 16 colors???? WOW! We thought it was six, tops!

1. How can navel lint be that interesting?

1. All those questions we ask are just tests. You current score is -586,925.

Sue (just couldn't resist!)