I got a call from the DW this morning telling me, A) DD1 has two cavities and B) our water taps had gone dry. I immediately launched into telling her that we had plenty of water stored, to use the collected rain water for flushing the toilets, to call the neighbor to confirm their water was out, etc... And as I was talking I could feel the phone in my hand freeze over...

D'oh! I don't know about your wives, but with mine the first step always needs to be saying, "Wow honey, that really sucks. You must be feeling miserable."

Once I remembered to say those words DW snapped out of her funk, thanked me for understanding her needs and started taking care of things again. We're a month away from our 10-year anniversery and I still always forget that step one is not to solve the problem but to give DW a little comfort.

-Blast

What IS it with women and their incessant need to vent and by doing so, get some attention? Geez, every GF I've had, my mom, all the ladies I know...

"Don't you dare solve the problem! I just want you to feel bad for me!"

Drives me absolutely insane. I refuse to change for their twisted need to feel downtrodden. (NOT married, and happy!)

As much as I find this frustrating, I also know it is just the way many women are, although not all. Conversation for them is not so much as simply sharing information, it's about emotions. Fight it at your own peril.

I will note that I do fight it, but not all the time.

I couldn't have said it better myself.

When I actually remember this and put it into practice, more often than not after I express my empathy she says "thanks" and hangs up before I get a chance to solve the problem.

Women are (generally) wired to seek relationship & understanding. Men are (generally) wired to seek solutions & resources. This is a fundamental truth of human beings and puts the lie to the mistaken modern notion that it is (generally) healthy to reverse sex roles.

You can fight it and suffer, or understand it and benefit.

Woah, easy gents. Don't paint with such a broad brush. I was reading the post and thinking - ah good - he's all set, she ought to be well equipped to deal with things now - after all - loss of water (temporarily) is simple enough with a few precautions and he did provide solutions. When I got to the Freeze part - *I* was stunned for a moment - and I'm female. I had to reread it to figure out what her issue might have been. Not every female immediately reacts emotionally and mildly hysterically in the face of an emergency. Some even react rationally. Who knew?? Just sayin'.

Of course - I suppose the trick is to know on which side of the split your SO stands.

I did try to qualify my post by saying "many women" and "although not all." It's not universal, but it is common.

A practical sort of man should to some extent figure this out, and do what he needs to get the job done or have her get the job done. I expect most men that read on forums such as this one are relatively practical.

Exactly! My post wasn't to slam women or just my wife, it was to remind us that we need to understand our teammates. One must know all the strengths and needs of their teammates. Ignoring these needs, even if they don't make sense to you can lead to a worse situation.

-Blast

Blast,

So, are you sleeping out back by the bench or under the tree? At least it is warmer tonight than last week!

kmat

Bathtub in the master bathroom. Hey, at least it's dry!

-Blast